


Love Me Not

by sanasiopao



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Help, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I have no idea, I wrote the first chapter with no plot and now we’re here, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, squint for mihyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24853768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanasiopao/pseuds/sanasiopao
Summary: A TWICE fan fiction semi inspired by 'Mean Girls' wherein Im Nayeon is your resident bad bitch and Minatozaki Sana is your basic cheerleading captain.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 55
Kudos: 211





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thank you for clicking! This is my first ever fan fiction so please bear with me. I still have a lot to learn, and I do not have a proper writing practice. I just want to share some my work. Enjoy reading!

There are two types of students in JYP University:

1.) Those who appraise Nayeon’s beauty as their religion; and

2.) Those who find Nayeon’s face beautiful enough to be their target at darts.

Nayeon wouldn’t and couldn’t find the time to care for the second type of students. Why would she when she’s too perfect to be bothered by those losers?

Nayeon is the second daughter of the CEO of Im Manufacturing Inc. Their company provides value-added electronics manufacturing services for original equipment manufacturers in the networking, computer, industrial, and medical equipment markets. They also provide printed circuit board, mechanical and molded cable and harness, electro-mechanical, and total system assembly.

Growing up, Nayeon was pretty much alone. She has a sister, yes. But it does not necessarily mean they bond, or more so they click. They act as if they do not know each other. They would pass by each other without acknowledging each other’s presence. They would not stand for each other when one gets in trouble. They would not even exchange words when they’re eating dinner together. It would be better if she was an only child. Nayeon wishes she was.

All Nayeon ever wanted was validation. She craves it the most. She used to crave it the most. Until she realizes that it was nonsense and she could live without it. She first realized this when she was in elementary. She had this favorite English teacher. She has this aura that makes Nayeon feel at home and a soothing voice that Nayeon would love to hear before sleeping. Nayeon thinks that her words are pragmatic. Nayeon would ace every test just to get compliments from her. She even got the highest grade in that subject. But that teacher did not pay attention to her hard work. Instead of praising Nayeon, she always praise another student whose grades is way lower than Nayeon.

She felt betrayed. She couldn’t look at her teacher without feeling her stomach cave in. Nayeon was more than grateful when the teacher left the next school year. She thinks she could not handle seeing her for another year, let alone another hour.

Then her parents. Her parents do not care what Nayeon does as long as she gets high grades. The only important thing for them was that they could boast about her grades in front of their amigos and amigas over dinner or wine.

One time Nayeon got a B+ on Physical Education. The moment Nayeon’s parents found out, she immediately got a call from them, telling them that she should know and do better. The whole week, Nayeon wasn’t allowed to see her friends nor fidget over her gadgets. She felt imprisoned in her own room and cries herself to sleep. She wanted to pack up her things, leave, and never come back.

Nayeon’s parents did not show up at school the first time she got in trouble, nor the second one, not even in the third one. Despite the number of times that she got in trouble, they would always send Ok Taecyeon, their representative, to solve Nayeon’s chaos.

Of course they would always solve it with money. There’s this time when she got in trouble and Taecyeon promises the school director that the Ims would donate a new building. The school director’s face lit up as soon as he hears it, and Nayeon was immediately out of trouble, almost as if she never was in the first place.

One day, Tzuyu came to her crying because a boy put a bubble gum on her long, black hair. She and Jihyo tries to wash it off, but when they were losing hope, Nayeon tells them to wait for her inside the wash room. The next time they hear from Nayeon, she was already in the guidance counselor’s office.

Apparently, the boy that she slapped, the same boy that put a gum on Tzuyu’s hair, was the governor’s son. The governor was fuming when he found out. He was pointing and shouting at Nayeon while she just sat there unbothered. And that made him even angrier. The governor wanted Nayeon to be kicked out of school. But of course, Ok Taecyeon would not allow it. He promised that the Ims would sponsor him for the upcoming election. Immediately, the flow of the Governor’s blood turned back to normal and he apologized to Nayeon, explaining that it was just a spur of the moment and he did not mean anything he said.

Nayeon just scoffs at the thought of it. She realized how money runs the world and deceives people. She realized that nothing matters to people except money. Luckily she has tons of it.

She always get off her trouble. Her parents would not scold her. But Jihyo would. Jihyo’s the only one that could slap some sense to Nayeon. Jihyo is the only one that cares enough for Nayeon to make her realize how wrong she was for causing those troubles.

Jihyo is always there for Nayeon, and she never fails to prove it.

After scolding Nayeon, Jihyo would always make sure that Nayeon knows she’s doing it because she loves her. Both girls hate skinship, so instead of hugging, she would reach out for Nayeon’s thumb and pinch it. Two long presses, and two quick ones. It was something that they agreed on when they were a child. It was their way of telling that they care and love each other.

Nayeon grows up to be a trouble maker and earns her title as JYPU’s notorious queen. The crowd would split into two whenever she would pass by. Boys and girls would drool over her beauty and would do anything just to get her attention. Some students would offer to make her home works, some would cook for her, and some would wholeheartedly shine her expensive shoes just to be near at her.

But of course, she’s notorious. She has haters, and they’re mostly losers. Nayeon’s haters range from that silent kid in the class that gets high grades to members of their school’s marching band. Some would bravely hiss at Nayeon and glare at her, some would diss her behind her back but quiver in fear at the mere sight of her, and some makes Nayeon think that their mother must have dropped them when they were still a baby.

One time during Halloween, a nerd clad in Gryffindor’s robe complete with round-rimmed eyeglasses and a drawing of lightning on their forehead came sprinting at her and shouted “Avada Kedavra” while pointing their wand at her passionately. They even pretended to speak in parseltongue after hollering the unforgivable curse.

Nayeon likes to call them ‘stupidents’.

Jihyo and Tzuyu find it hilarious. While Dahyun… well Dahyun said she’ll pray for her Nayeon unnie’s safety.

Despite being threatened by stupidents, no one was really competent enough to vie for Nayeon’s title as the campus queen. That was until Minatozaki Sana transferred during their 8th grade.

‘Minatozaki Sana, that bitch.’ Nayeon would hiss to herself whenever they cross paths.

Nayeon does not know anything about her aside from her perspective of Minatozaki Sana and what Jihyo have gathered.

According to Nayeon’s intuition, Minatozaki Sana is your basic spoiled brat bitch cheerleader. She probably would not survive without her ‘friends’ Momo and Chaeyoung. She thinks that Minatozaki Sana probably only cares about her looks and popularity, which in Nayeon’s perspective, was proven real when she heard that Sana is dating the basketball team’s captain, Kim Mingyu.

People dubbed Minatozaki Sana and Kim Mingyu as the ‘perfect couple’ with perfect visuals and perfect chemistry. Everyone thinks that they’re perfect for each other. Nayeon thinks that they’re perfect for each other because they’re both dumb and have no contribution to the society.

Acording to Jihyo, she’s the only child of the Minatozakis. Her parents own MTZ International Inc. that offers five star hotel and resorts accommodation through proprietary lodging brands and management services division. Nayeon could not care less about Sana’s status in life.

Nayeon’s blood would boil whenever she sees Minatozaki Sana. And Nayeon is sure that the hate is mutual. Their apparent hate for each other chooses no place. They would exchange death glares at each other. When one buys an expensive shoes or bags, one would make sure that she gets something new too. One would not dare to lose.

It was cold war, and JYPU is their battlefield.

“Look at her acting like she’s a fucking queen,” Nayeon glares at Minatozaki Sana who’s casually talking to her circle of friends, her laugh echoing along the hallways. Sana’s back was turned at her so she could not return the glare. Mingyu’s arms are all over Sana’s shoulders, and he sniffs her hair every now and then. Nayeon feels the hair on the back of her neck stand up in disgust.

“Don’t you have any chill, Nayeon? I just want my day to be as peaceful as possible.” Jihyo says while side-eyeing Nayeon.

“She just makes my blood boil! Why does she even exist?” Nayeon groans and Jihyo just rolls her eyes. She has gotten used to Nayeon loathing Minatozaki Sana’s existence every single day.

The crowd of hungry students hurriedly split into two as their group enters the cafeteria, making way for them. Nayeon smirks at the thought of it. Like a queen she is, Nayeon crosses her arms as they walk towards the counter with pride.

“Have you seen Dahyun?” Jihyo asks as she scans the cafeteria for the aforementioned girl.

“She says she’ll be at the library reviewing or something.” Tzuyu replies. The line immediately breaks, letting the girls order their food first. Nayeon is not in a mood to eat something heavy, so she just ordered a slice of lemon meringue pie and a glass of grapefruitade for lunch. Usually she would order more than this because she has a voracious appetite, but she doesn’t feel like eating much today.

The group walk towards their designated table. Tzuyu complains about their upcoming test later, telling them how the education system is shit for forcing her to study algebra when she doesn’t need it in real life. Jihyo just listens to her whine and wishes her good luck. Nayeon just walks beside them.

They were almost at their table when suddenly, a girl blocks their way. The girl’s back was turned on them, showcasing her long, silky black hair. The group stops walking. Jihyo and Tzuyu exchange glances and Nayeon scoffs internally. The girl watches the students go on their respective businesses. She casually took a bite of her cupcake, ignorant of the three girls behind her.

Tzuyu fakes a cough to get her attention and to shoo her away. The girl turns to them and stiffens. She looks at Nayeon with her wide eyes that’s covered by her bangs. Her lips turns to the shape of an ‘o’.

“I’m sorry,” the girl says in a small voice that they could barely hear and bows. Nayeon studies the girl’s angelic face. The girl has large eyes, pointed nose, and moles on the bridge of her nose and another at the side of her philtrum. Nayeon thinks that she’s almost good looking, if only she wasn’t stupid.

“Fuck off,” Nayeon says in a firm tone. 

The girl freezes and drops her half-eaten cupcake. She immediately scampers out of their way, half running, half-waddling.

“You’re mean. She’s probably new.” Jihyo eyes the girl until she was out of the cafeteria. Tzuyu just shakes her head in disbelief while watching the new girl too. Nayeon remains silent and kicks the cupcake out of her way, careful not to get an icing on her newly-bought Jimmy Choo shoes.

They sit on their table that no one dares to claim because everyone knows it’s theirs. Minatozaki Sana and her friends have it too, just right next to them. Thankfully, she isn’t there so Nayeon could eat peacefully without having to see her annoying face.

Nayeon slices her lemon meringue pie and savors it.

“We visited Hawaii this summer,” Jihyo sparks the conversation as they eat. She tells them how much she admires the country and its weather. She goes on how healing the country’s beaches were and how much she and her family would love to visit again. She tells them that her parents loved it so much they bought a vacation house that could might as well be considered a mansion.

“Well I mostly spent mine with Gucci,” says Tzuyu. It’s not a surprise, really. They know how much of a home body Tzuyu is and how much she loves her dog, Gucci. She also tells them that her mother has a newly-opened café in the heart of Taipei.

“You should visit sometimes,” she adds.

Nayeon swallows a piece of her pie while taking a mental note to tell Ok Taecyeon to book her a flight to Taipei when they reach their school break. She was just about to open her mouth to share about her vacation when an angry Minatozaki Sana storms the cafeteria. Everyone stops and looks at her, even Nayeon.

“Where’s that girl?” Sana bellows while scanning the cafeteria for whoever the fuck she was looking for. Her eyes land at the infamous Im Nayeon.

“Great,” Nayeon whispers to herself and rolls her eyes.

“You!” Sana points at Nayeon and darts towards their table.

“How dare you?!” Sana shouts at Nayeon. Nayeon finishes her pie and sips her grapefruitade, ignoring Minatozaki Sana. From her peripheral view, she sees Sana fold her arms and hears her scoff.

“I’m fucking talking to you.” Sana says. A crowd started to form around them and whispers grew, while some students hurriedly swallow the last piece of their food so they could leave the cafeteria immediately and skip the drama.

“So?’”

“How dare you to tell my friend to ‘fuck off’? You think you own this place?” Sana says and exhales sharply. “Well news flash, you don’t.” 

Nayeon feels something inside her burn. She slams the table and everyone lets out an audible gasp except for Jihyo and the girl in front of her. Sana doesn’t flinch, not even for a millimeter. Jihyo tries to calm her down by rubbing the back of her hand. But Nayeon just flicks Jihyo’s hand out of her touch.

“I don’t even know who your friend is. She must’ve been some loser,” Nayeon says while crossing her arms. Sana was just about to throw hands at her when a voice stops her.

“Satang!” she says with a soft voice but loud enough for everyone to hear. She manages to squeeze and waddle her way through the crowd. Nayeon recognizes the girl from earlier, the cupcake girl. Whispers grew around them wondering who she is.

“Let’s go,” she pulls the end of Sana’s sleeves.

“But Mitang,“ Sana was cut off when the girl pouts and uses puppy eyes. “Fine,” Sana sighs in defeat. She holds her hand and smiles at her. Sana looks at her like she deserves only the best from this world and she’s willing to do anything just to give it to her.

Sana turns to Nayeon and suddenly her gaze changes. She looks at Nayeon like she’s the worst person in the world and she deserves all the hate that this world could give.

“I’m not letting you go off the hook next time, Im” she says while pointing at her. The girl beside her groans and pulls Sana out of the cafeteria. Everyone watches as they make their way through.

“Okay, show’s over. Fuck off everyone.” Jihyo announces when Sana and the girl finally disappears. The crowd groans as they split and go back to whatever business they were doing before the scene.

“That bitch,” Tzuyu hisses. “Are you okay, unnie?” she asks, shooting Nayeon a concerned look.

“That bitch is gonna give me aneurysm or something,” Nayeon replies. She lets out an exasperated sigh and rubs her temples as she sits down.

Jihyo side-eyes Nayeon, her gaze somehow indignant and clicks her tongue. Nayeon knows this look too well. It’s the look that Jihyo gives her whenever she gets into trouble and needs some scolding.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Nayeon tells her.

“Like what?”

“Like I’ve done something wrong!”

“Well, haven’t you?” Jihyo rests her elbows on the table and intertwine her fingers. But Nayeon isn’t having any of her sermons today.

“She started it,” She defends herself. Jihyo sighs and shakes her head like a helpless person.

===========

The thing is, Im Nayeon and Minatozaki Sana haven’t actually fought before. Their crusades are usually just internal and just a feud between who’s richer and something alike. It was never this conspicuous.

After that incident, not a school day passed by where Nayeon and Sana would not glare at each other, this time more intense than ever. They make sure that for every time their eyes meet, the hate for each other is very evident. Tzuyu once told her unnie that if stares could kill, they’d both be dead by now. The school’s population is split into two sides. Nayeon’s, the resident bad bitch vs. Sana’s, your basic cheer leader. Their feud has become the talk of the school.

The cupcake girl has also gained popularity. According to Jihyo her name is Mina, not Mitang, and she transfers from Japan and probably Minatozaki Sana’s childhood friend. Nayeon just shrug off this info, it’s not like she cares about who the girl is anyways.

Months flew and for a while, just for a while, the tension between the two dies down but not completely. Their little skirmish weren’t followed by another. Jihyo thinks it’s a miracle and tells Dahyun to thank god for her. But this euphoria of Jihyo didn’t last as long as she’d hoped for.

One morning, Dahyun was casually walking along the hallways carefully carrying her hand-operated generator project that was due that day. Her fingers were filled with band-aids because she scraped them while stripping the wires off. She pulled an all-nighter for that project because she isn’t exactly born for electronics, and their teacher only gave them two nights to finish it.

Minatozaki Sana and her friends were loud as usual and were co-incidentally heading to the same direction Dahyun was going. They were betting over who will get the lowest score for their test later. As Dahyun and Sana’s group close in on, a boy named Bang Chan got too whiny for getting the most votes and throws his hands in frustration. Unfortunately, he hit Dahyun’s project and it fell on the ground.

Everyone was shocked, especially Dahyun. Their eyes were stuck on the project that’s now in pieces. When they recover, the boy immediately apologizes. They talked to Dahyun’s teacher about it and she was given another night to fix the hopeless project. The boy even offered to pay for Dahyun’s lunch which she deems unnecessary, but he was insistent. Before they split their ways, Bang Chan expresses his apologies and bows multiple times.

When Dahyun tells this story to Tzuyu, Jihyo, and Nayeon, she reassures them that it’s okay, and she’s grateful that their teacher was considerate enough to give her another night. But of course, it’s Im Nayeon. She won’t let this slide easily.

Nayeon sweeps the hallways for Minatozaki Sana that afternoon, careful not to cross paths with Jihyo because she’s sure as hell Jihyo’s going to stop her. After a few minutes, she spots Minatozaki Sana walking alone.

As she darts over her direction, she sees Sana’s face turn sour and her gaze turns into a piercing one. She holds Sana’s wrist and feels the other girl flinch at their contact. She drags her along. A few students follow them with their gaze and whispers. Nayeon ignores it.

Sana tries to pulls her wrist, but Nayeon just tighten her grip more. She doesn’t mind if the other girl was hurting. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Nayeon opens the door of the school band’s empty practice room and tosses Sana inside. She crosses her arms as she watches the girl regain her balance and compose herself.

“What the fuck, Im?” 

“You’re really testing my patience, Minatozaki?”

Sana furrows her eyebrows, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on! If you want a revenge for what I did to your friend, do it to me. Not on Dahyun.” Nayeon says as she steps forward. “Did you know that she pull an all-nighter for that project?”

“It wasn’t even my fault!”

“It was your friend’s fault so own up to it!”

“Your logic’s fuck up,” Sana chuckles. Nayeon clenches her jaw and feels her muscles tense.

Before Nayeon could even spit fire back, the door flew open. The marching band’s members were frozen in place, eyes wide when they see Im Nayeon and Minatozaki Sana inside.

Nayeon closes her eyes so tight she could see the stars. She inhales deeply and balls her fists so tight she could feel her nails digging crescents onto her palms. She exhales sharply and walks toward the door, leaving Minatozaki Sana before she could do something that would cause her to see Ok Taecyeon’s face once again.

Every bit of despise in Im Nayeon’s body, from the surface of her skin up to the very marrow of her bones, is solely and purely for Minatozaki Sana. And every resentment that Minatozaki Sana could muster,from the very core of her heart up to the very existence of her soul, is solely and purely reserved for Im Nayeon. Their patience for each other is like that last leaf during fall, wherein the slightest wind could cause it to snap out of its branch.

==========

JYPU grows busier as various competitions approach. This school year, the division sports tournament is only a few days away from their division’s journalism contest. Students and teachers are both busy. To some students, it is a burden for two contests to almost overlap. One of those student is Park Jihyo. She’s the captain of the volleyball team and the Editor-In-Chief of the school’s official publication, ‘The Varsitarian’.

Jihyo struggles to balance her academics, volleyball team, and school publication at the same time. She would skip breakfast just so she could visit the publication office to check some articles before their morning practice for volleyball starts. She would sacrifice sleep just to catch up with the schoolworks that she missed because she was either tending to the volleyball team or the publication. Also, the fact that she still hasn’t found a replacement for a new news writer isn’t helping.

Nayeon, although she tries to hide, becomes worried for Jihyo, and she hates to admit it. But she know that her best friend could only handle so much. So she offers to help in the school publication with one condition: Jihyo should not tell anyone, not even Dahyun and Tzuyu because she hates it when she’s associated with extracurricular activities. She feels like she’s a nerd or something, which she secretly is. Jihyo has told this to her before.

Jihyo declined at first, but when she nearly fainted one afternoon due to fatigue, she eventually gives in to Nayon’s offer. She figures a little help would not hurt, especially if it comes from her friend.

Chou Tzuyu who’s in the volleyball team, tries to keep in touch with Nayeon but is barely managing it. Nayeon isn’t exactly good at sports, so she could not help Tzuyu much. But she makes sure she’s there for her friend whenever she needs something that Nayeon could tend to.

Kim Dahyun on the other hand, is having a hard time as the school publication’s new feature writer. The previous writer graduated already, and when Dahyun heard that the spot is empty, she took it right away. She said that exploring new things would not hurt her, especially there’s Jihyo as her editor in chief. But she’s not so sure now.

Nayeon would help Dahyun with her articles. She would offer to proofread and criticize it. She would also give Dahyun ideas and better angles to write on. She also makes sure to cheer up the younger one whenever her school publication adviser would write a big, fat “NO GOOD” on her title, not even bothering to read it. Or when Dahyun’s article would be filled with too many copy reading symbols, it makes her dizzy and wishes that it was an “NG” instead.

Nayeon goes to school earlier than usual today. The sun wasn’t even up yet. She drags her feet along the deserted hallway of JYPU until she reaches the publication office. She lazily opens the door and sees Jihyo stretching, already on her jersey.

“Still haven’t found a news writer?” she beams at Jihyo.

“No,” she replies with a frown. “Well maybe if you consider it, then I won’t be having any problems anymore.”

Nayeon rolls her eyes at Jihyo. Both of them know that Nayeon would NEVER ever join the student publication even if her grades depended on it.

“What time’s the practice?”

“Six,” Nayeon looks at the wallclock across her. It’s still twenty minutes before the practice.

“Here are their articles,” Jihyo hands her a folder. Nayeon scans through it and she could already see some headlines that would fall through no good. Who the hell uses an exclamation point on a news headline? Or who in the right mind would put an adjective too? Nayeon just shakes her head.

She opens her bag and pulls out an identical folder. “Here are some fact sheets that might help them.”

“Remind me again why you’re regarded as a mean girl? You’re basically the nerdiest person I know,” Jihyo takes the folder and scans through it. Nayeon pushes off the fact that she has a whole ass marvel collection waiting for her at home or the fact that she’s the biggest fan of Rick Riordan and Lemony Snicket.

“You want me to shove this folder down your throat?” Nayeon threatens her. She raises the folder like she’s going to do it.

“There she is,” Jihyo chuckles. “Hey Nayeon, thanks for doing this.”

“Skip the cringe parts. You’re gonna pay me back for this.” she says plainly.

Nayeon didn’t stay long after that. She couldn’t be seen in the office if both of the girls don’t want to get in trouble. Jihyo has to go to practice anyways. She puts on her airpods and shuffles her music. Still half-awake, she drags herself along the hallways, unsure of what to do next. She isn’t used to waking up early. So, to energize herself up, she decides to get a coffee by the school’s vending machine.

The school’s vending machine is located at a corner where students don’t really go to. The student body has grown past its need for cheap, crappy coffee that it provides. They’re not really fond of its frugality. But Nayeon is out of choice because the school cafeteria is still closed, and it is the only thing that could awaken her, or so she thought.

She was about to pull a bill out of her wallet when she thinks she hears noises. At first she thinks it was just her music, but she hears it again. She removes the right piece of her airpods and listens carefully to her surroundings. She jumps a little when she hears muffled voices.

Nayeon follows the voice and she ends up in front of an unused room. She peeks through the glass pane and sees two people: Minatozaki Sana and her boyfriend Kim Mingyu. Mingyu’s back is turned at her, while Nayeon could clearly see Sana’s face.

It isn’t her nature to eavesdrop, but Nayeon doesn’t know what got through her that morning. She hides behind a pillar far enough to conceal her presence but not far enough to miss what’s going on inside that room. She squints her eyes to see well.

Minatozaki Sana furrows her eyebrows and massages her temple. Mingyu tries to hold her hand, but she just flicks his hands off her. Nayeon couldn’t hear, but she’s sure that they’re having a fight. And it stirs her stomach in a good way, seeing her nemesis have a hard time. She enjoys how pathetic the oh-so-famous Minatozaki Sana looks right now.

Their fight didn’t last long. Mingyu must have said something to Sana because suddenly her expression changes into a soft one, and she lets herself be indulged into his arms. They stayed like that for a few seconds. Then, Mingyu cups Sana’s face and pull her into a kiss.

In a swift, Nayeon considers her day ruined. She scoffs in disbelief. One moment she was enjoying the scene, the next she abhors it.

Nayeon won’t be needing that coffee anymore.

==========

Nayeon only goes to the rooftop when she needs some space to think. She doesn’t exactly know why she’s skipping classes and hiding there at the moment. She reasons out that she needs time and peace to properly check the articles, but deep down she knows she’s just clowning herself.

Maybe she just doesn’t feel like going to class today. This isn’t the first time. It happens sometimes.

She groans when she sees the headline of the news article that she’s holding: JYPU Celebrated the Nutrition Month Successfully!

She crosses out the whole page with her shining red pen as frustration seeps in her body. She scribbles a few comments that’s too harsh and Jihyo probably would say in a calmer manner, but she doesn’t care. Suddenly she feels dizzy and she just want a conversation with the writer, or rather shout at them for writing that stupid headline in the first place.

Jihyo really needs to find a new news writer if she wants to save the publication.

She stands up and stretches out her limbs, deciding that she needs a little break. Realization hits her when she checks her phone for the time. She’s been there for almost the whole day, and she has forgotten to eat. She’s been checking a whole month’s worth of article all day which probably explains why her vision is a little blurry and her eyes are starting to hurt. There were a few texts from Jihyo, Dahyun, and Tzuyu asking where she was, but she just ignores it. She tosses her phone inside her bag and pulls out her lighter and pack of cigarette.

Smoking has its calming effect on her and it helps clear her mind off. An unexplainable state of tranquil settles on her stomach as she takes her first puff. She closes her eyes and let the feeling take over her body. Nayeon rests her back on the wall, letting the smoke cloud her vision more as she take pleasure for every hit.

She tries to shake off all the letters and words from the articles that have been lingering in her mind. She tries to leave the storm of fragments and lack of cohesion and coherence that she had to endure the whole day.

Nayeon inhales the cigarette until her lungs is filled with smoke and exhales a big ass smoke ring.

Suddenly, the door opens with a bang and it almost hit her. She takes a step away to dodge the door and whispers “Jesus fucking christ” to herself, not loud enough for the person who opens the door to hear. It seems like she didn’t notice Nayeon. Nayeon squints her eyes to identify who the girl is.

“Fuck you and your motherfucking ego!” Minatozaki Sana shouts on top of her lungs.

This is the perfect time for Nayeon to murder her nemesis. The rooftop doesn’t have any cctv cameras and it’s just the two of them right now. If she pushes Sana off the roof, it will probably be ruled as suicide. But Nayeon just watch the girl vent her feelings and be loud as fuck. She remembers what she saw that morning and her stomach starts to swirl.

“Fuck you, Mingyu,” Sana shouts for the nth time. Nayeon hits off another from her cigarette before speaking.

“Fuck you. This is my place.” Nayeon says, shooting Minatozaki Sana an uninterested look. The other girl turns to her aggressively. She tries to hide the shock in her eyes, but not fast enough for Nayeon to miss it. She inhaled deeply, trying to compose herself. Nayeon grins at her.

The older girl watches as she walks toward her. Nayeon puts the cigarette on her mouth and crosses her arms.

Minatozaki Sana snatches the cigarette from Im Nayeon’s mouth and indisputably puffs on it. She lets out a few coughs as soon as she did. Nayeon tries to hold back her laughter as she watches the other girl cough as a consequence for her stupid action, but a snort manages to slip.

Sana shoots her a piercing gaze, the one that she always direct at Nayeon whenever they pass by each other on hallways. She steps forward, closing in on the small distance between her and the older girl.

“What the fuck?” Nayeon takes a step back, only to feel the wall against her back. Suddenly her blood is pumping faster than before and her brain is starting to short circuit. She tries to stop her brain for thinking about the next scenario.

Sana tilts her head and sniffs the other girl.

Nayeon mentally hits herself for thinking such inappropriate thoughts.

‘Fucking weirdo,’ she thinks to herself.

“You look red and drunk,” Sana says. Nayeon thinks it must be because she has been out under the sun the whole day, so her cheeks must be red right now.

“Fuck off,” she pushes Sana and tries to get her cigarette back, but Sana’s agile enough to hide her hand behind her back and out of Nayeon’s reach.

Nayeon scoffs in disbelief, “You know I could push you off the roof right now if I want to, right?”

Sana shrugs, “As if.”

She glowers over the other girl as she turns her back and walks toward the rooftop’s safety railings. The younger girl rests her elbows on the railings and hits off the cigarette. This time, she didn’t cough. Nayeon watches her exhale smoke through her nose and mouth as sunlight bounces off her undeniably porcelain skin.

It is the perfect time to push her off the roof.

Nayeon wonders why she didn’t. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting! I'm sorry if this chapter has many grammatical errors and typos. It's unedited. I hope you enjoy reading!

Their little rooftop encounter wasn’t followed immediately after that.

The school continues without Minatozaki Sana and Im Nayeon’s little skirmish. They would just pass by each other on hallways like nothing happened, like Nayeon didn’t hear Minatozaki Sana curse her boyfriend on the rooftop, like they didn’t share a cigarette that afternoon. And it seems that Sana already made up with her boyfriend because Nayeon could see her flirting with him again on the hallways.

The tension between them surfaces a bit. They’re successfully ignoring each other’s presence instead of loathing it. Jihyo thinks it’s a win. Nayeon just shrugs at the thought of it.

Everything was going smooth at school, until Nayeon was caught sleeping during class hours, so now she’s waiting for the guidance counselor to arrive. She throws herself into the chair directly across the counselor’s, and intertwines her fingers and put it on top of her stomach. Nayeon looks at the ceiling and closes her eyes as she waits. She reassures herself that it’s okay. It’s just a minor inconvenience and she wouldn’t have to see Ok Taecyeon’s annoying face.

“Ah, Ms. Im,” Park Sung Jin says as he enters the office. Nayeon rolls her eyes at him and switches into another comfortable position. “Visiting my office as usual?” he says again as he takes his seat. Nayeon didn’t answer.

It’s not new for both of them to see each other’s face from time to time, and Sungjin is already used to Nayeon being cold. He opens his drawer and pulls out a jar of candies. “Want some?”

“I told you. No one likes these cheap candies.” She replies, but still sticks her hand inside the jar, getting a handful.

“I always forget. It’s not like students visit my office anyways,” he trails and adds “Well except for you.” Sungjin places his elbows on the table and intertwines his fingers. He looks at Nayeon the same way Jihyo does every time she gets in trouble. Nayeon averts her gaze and feels the bad butterflies on her stomach swirl.

Nayeon hates it.

“Is everything alright, Nayeon-ssi?” he asks in a soft voice. That triggers Nayeon. He doesn’t have any business sticking his nose in Nayeon’s life. Nayeon thinks that he’s just there because he’s getting paid and not because he actually wants to do his job which is to help. She thinks it’s a waste, really. Sungjin is young and looks capable. He should know better than trying to fix people who are broken.

“I’ve shown my face already. I’m leaving,” Nayeon stands up and hikes her bag up to her shoulder. She leaves the office without paying Sungjin another attention. She doesn’t care about what he says anyways.

She closes her fist tightly, her knuckles turning white. Every step that she takes, she takes with anger. That man doesn’t have any right to stick up his nose on anyone’s business. He should be fired. Everyone like him should not exist.

“Oh unnie,” Dahyun calls her, but she just walks past her. She needs time alone, and she can’t deal with Dahyun now. She couldn’t take on her anger on the younger girl, so she just ignores her. She’ll deal with her later.

Nayeon’s breathe got heavier as she takes the flight of stairs up the rooftop. She couldn’t tell if it was because of anger or that her stamina couldn’t keep up. Nayeon pushes the door of the rooftop, making sure that it slams.

“Great,” Nayeon lets out when she sees Minatozaki Sana.

“It’s a great view, isn’t it?” Sana says as she gestures her hand toward the sky.

“Got in trouble, Im?” Sana smirks.

“Shut your trap, Minatozaki. Why are you even here?” Nayeon asks as she removes her blazers, put it on the ground, and sits on top of it. She removes her shoes and massages her ankles, it hurts from all the stomping that she did from that cheap man’s office to the rooftop.

She was surprised when she sees a hand in front of her.

“What?” Nayeon furrows her eyebrows, feigning innocence.

“Come on,” the other girl whines. Nayeon sighs and hesitates for a bit, but she eventually gives in. She needs it too, anyways. She pulls her bag and gets what the two of them wants. She gets herself a stick, lights it, and puts it on her mouth. Nayeon offers a stick to the girl in front of her, who accepted it with a grin. She looks like a little girl excited for candy.

Nayeon flicks the lighter for her.

“No,” the younger girl shakes her head. She puts down the lighter down and leans toward Nayeon. Nayeon was taken aback. She feels her muscles stiff as Sana makes sure that the tip of their cigarettes were touching. She’s so close to her that Nayeon could smell her mint toothpaste and the sweetness of Prada Candy Kiss perfume.

Nayeon stares at the girl in front of her. Sana closes her eyes as she inhales, lighting her stick. Nayeon sees the other girl’s throat move up and down, and she does the same. She feels her heart beating and prays that the other girl doesn’t hear it. The butterflies on her stomach awakens.

“Well this is something,” Sana says referring to the cigarette as she pulls away from Nayeon.

‘Indeed’ Nayeon thinks to herself.

She slaps herself mentally and convinces herself that it’s the cigarette and stress talking.

Sana removes her blazers, put it beside Nayeon, and sits on it.

“We fought again,” she started. Nayeon lets out a loud chuckle and gains a piercing glare from Minatozaki Sana.

“I’m not your fucking therapist or confidant. Whatever,” Nayeon shrugs and rests her head on the wall. She puffs another and feels a familiar state of serenity clouding the whole of her.

“Tss. You’re right,” Sana says. Nayeon ignores her and looks up at the sun. She puffs her cigarette while looking directly at the ball of light, purposely hurting her eyes. She doesn’t look away until her eyes were burned enough by sunlight.

Silence engulfs the both of them. Both deep in thoughts that are better shared with each other, but wouldn’t. The sun is starting to rest, and the clouds are turning orange. Their skin are almost, but not touching. None of them move away from each other. None of them speak. None of them bicker. They just let themselves be drunk by the sense of familiarity that got the both of them good. They let themselves be, like they weren’t enemies in the first place.

Both of them think that they’ll call it a truce for today, but none of them spoke.

==========

Their next escape was not until a week after.

Nayeon isn’t new to letters being slipped inside her locker. Most of them are love letters from stupidents really, so she just throws it away. This time, it’s different.

She opens her locker, then a note fell out. She reaches for it and reads: Rooftop. After dismissal. She crumples it and throws it into the nearest trash bin, knowing full well who wrote that note. But it’s not her duty to obey Minatozaki Sana.

The next day, the whole student body is shaken when the infamous Minatozaki Sana is waiting for her nemesis, Im Nayeon, by her locker.

Nayeon goes to school with Jihyo, Tzuyu, and Dahyun that day. When they reach the locker, Dahyun and Tzuyu do not know how to act. Meanwhile, Jihyo gives her a warning look, telepathically telling her not to do anything stupid.

Nayeon got Jihyo’s message. She’s just about to walk past Minatozaki Sana when Jihyo stops her.

“Nayeon,” she gives her a motherly look.

“What?” Nayeon asks innocently as she pulls her arms away from Jihyo’s touch. Jihyo shakes her head and puts her hands on her waist.

Nayeon looks at the girl waiting for her, and she probably got the gist of what’s happening. So, Minatozaki just gestures 4 and points at the ceiling. Nayeon gets the message immediately, but did not respond. 4pm at the rooftop.

When Nayeon got to their meeting place, Nayeon was greeted with a post-it-note with a map drawn on it. The map has neatly drawn series of arrows which Nayeon assumes as hallways and words such as ‘vending machine’ ‘here’, recognizing Minatozaki Sana’s neat handwriting.

She pulls the note aggressively and recognizes the room where she saw Mingyu and Sana kissing. She tries to shrug off the thought, but a familiar lava of emotions seething through her stomach. Nayeon doesn’t know why.

She tries to open the metal door of the rooftop, but it was lock. She kicks it in frustration.

Nayeon feels her cellphone vibrate a couple of times. It’s probably Jihyo. She said that they should all go home together that afternoon, just like how they got to school that morning. But Nayeon knows that Jihyo’s just trying to stop her from causing trouble with Sana. Nayeon turns her phone off, not minding all the texts and calls that she get from the girls.

As she stride the hallways to their new meeting place, Nayeon’s careful not to bump with any of her friends. She feels like a culprit on a run and blames it on the girl that she’ll be meeting.

When she got to the room, she slams the door open and tosses the pack at Minatozaki Sana who caught it right away.

“Buy your own cigarette, fucker.” Nayeon says, and Sana sticks her tongue out as a response.

Nayeon looks around the room. The room has no windows, and it’s full of stacks of broken arm chairs and a huge broom cupboard at the corner.

“Stop reaching out to me. I don’t do booty calls.” she says. Sana shakes her head.

“I heard they’re permanently locking the rooftop, so you have no choice but to stay with me.” Sana trails “Here,” she pats the broken armchair that she’s sitting on, and the table falls off, causing Sana to mumble “Fuck” in surprise.

‘Cute’ Nayeon thinks and shrugs the thought of it as soon as she did.

“It’s your fault.”

“Why is it always my fault?!”

“I’ve been using the rooftop for years. Now, you appear and suddenly I can’t use it anymore.” she shakes her head. “You really are a pain in the ass.”

“I’m not. I’ll prove it,” Sana says. She holds Nayeon’s wrists and looks at her as if asking permission to drag her wherever.

“What the fuck, Minatozaki?”

“Come on,” Sana stomps like a child having a tantrum. Nayeon sighs.

She hates Minatozaki Sana. So why did she agree? She doesn’t know either.

==========

“Catch,” she says out of the blue and throws a French fries at Nayeon’s face. Nayeon wasn’t expecting it so the fries bounces on her nose and luckily falls on her plate. Sana lets out a loud laugh that echoes through the diner, causing some costumer to look at them. Both of them didn’t pay attention and continue to be absorbed in their own little bubble.

“Fuck you,” Nayeon says and throws the same French fries back at her. Sana made a shield out of her arms to dodge it and chuckles.

“You really have no other word in your vocabulary except ‘fuck’.” Sana points out. Nayeon shrugs. If only she had known about the extensive vocabulary that Nayeon has which she have been building ever since she was a kid, acquiring heavy and deep words from classics to young adult books. Nayeon probably has the most extensive vocab in their school.

“Not much of a talker? Hmm,” Sana trails and takes a sip of her milkshake, thinking of another antic to save themselves from awkward silence.

“Let’s play a game!” she proposes.

“I’m not playing games with you,” Nayeon averts her gaze and focus on a child that’s dipping French fries on her milkshake. Nayeon wants to try it too, if only Minatozaki Sana wasn’t in front of her.

“Come on, you’re such a killjoy.”

“Why are you even bothering me,” Nayeon glares at her.

“I don’t know. It’s fun.” she grins.

“Fast talk. Sex or chocolates?” Sana says in one breathing.

“Sex,” Nayeon answers without batting an eyelash, almost shouting her answer in the entire diner. Minatozaki Sana lets out another monstrous laugh, and Nayeon could swear she could almost see her throat. It was so loud that a waiter goes to them and asks if everything was all right. Nayeon reassures the waiter that it’s nothing, while the other girl is struggling to compose herself and suppress her laughter.

“Pain in the ass,” Nayeon tells Sana when the waiter left. Sana shakes her head while wiping her tears from laughter.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that answer,”

“What, you think I’m all innocent?”

“Point taken. Why am I even surprised again?” Sana asks herself.

Nayeon’s phone lights up from a game notification and Sana gasps loudly.

“Is that your dog?” Sana asks, and Nayeon nods as an answer.

“Tell me about your dog!” Sana seats beside Nayeon and leans closer. Nayeon smells a faint scent of lavender, probably from the other girl’s shampoo. She tries to focus on telling the other girl stories about her kookeu and ignore the fact that Sana is so close and smells so good.

“His name’s kookeu, and he’s a Pomeranian,” Nayeon starts. She tells Sana that they adopted him when he was 2 months old. She also talks about kookeu being protective and having separation anxiety whenever she leaves home.

Nayeon may not be much of a talker, but if it’s about her baby, kookeu, her mouth will suddenly become a machine gun of stories about kookeu’s sweetness and cuteness. Nayeon shows the other girl some pictures and videos of her furbaby, which gained an enthusiastic response from the younger girl. She tries to hide her smile whenever the other girl would chuckle or when her lips turns pointy when she talks sometimes.

Nayeon was currently showing Sana a video of kookeu playing with Dahyun’s maltese named Ari, when suddenly she got a text message.

From: Babe

Where are youuu:((

“Shit,” She mutters immediately swipes the notification up, praying that the other girl did not read it. Nayeon closes her eyes trying to remember the date today and mentally slaps herself when she realizes that she forgot something important.

“Babe?” Sana furrows her eyebrows and confusion could be heard in her tone. “I didn’t know you’re taken.” Nayeon swears she could hear a hint of teasing in Sana’s voice, but her eyes looks different, almost as if she’s disappointed or even hurt. But Nayeon ignores it, it’s probably her imagination. There’s no way in hell that it’s true.

“Shut up,” Nayeon says, and the other girl did. Sana sinks deeper into her seat and plays with the hem of her skirt.

Nayeon receives another text.

From: Babe

You promised :((

Nayeon reads it and sighs. She stands up and gathers up her things, preparing to leave.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Sana looks up at her.

“Duh,” Nayeon says, stating the obvious and rolls her eyes at Sana.

“Okay then, you’ll decide where to go next time.” Sana says as she stands up, getting ready to leave too.

“Next time?” Nayeon asks bewildered.

“Duh,” Sana answers and leaves Im Nayeon dumbfounded, but not without letting out a soft chuckle, with her eyes smiling and nose scrunching. Nayeon stares in disbelief at her as she pushes the diner’s double doors and until the younger girl was out of her sight.

“Pain in the ass,” Nayeon shakes her head in disbelief.

==========

Nayeon pushes the door where she’s supposed to meet someone. She looks around and sees the one that she’s been looking for. Her grin grows and excitement gushes all throughout her body.

“Babe the pig,” Nayeon grins at the girl in front of her. It has been months since she last saw her because she was in Italy in search for great liquors and wine producer.

“Stop being clingy in text messages,” Nayeon warns her and the girl chuckles.

“Why? It’s not like someone would get jealous, right?” she raises her eyebrows up and down and flashes her white teeth, teasing her. Nayeon rolls her eyes at the girl, knowing full well that she’s right.

“I still prefer that you call me Sunmi-unnie by the way.” she pouts and pulls Nayeon into a big, warm hug. Normally, she would push other people if they try to hug her. But this is Sunmi, so Nayeon lets her. She inhales the familiar warmth that she gives off ever since they were a child. She missed her so much.

Lee Sun-mi is six years older than her. She is a childhood friend of Nayeon along with Jihyo before she met Tzuyu and Dahyun. She was a little chubby when she was a child, so Nayeon likes to call her ‘babe the pig’ from a movie that they watched a lot when they were still a child until the nickname kind of stuck with her. But right now, her figure is nowhere near chubby. Her body is like an hourglass, and Nayeon is actually surprised by the change in her body.

“What’s up?” Nayeon says as she takes a seat on one of the toolbars in Sunmi’s bar.

“Well Italy is kind of amazing.” Sunmi starts. She fills in Nayeon with the important details and such. They catch up with the things that they’ve missed about each other.

“How about you? Aren’t there a special someone?” the older girl asks her, eager to fish information about Nayeon’s love life. But she shakes her head, honest about not having any.

“Come on! You look gorgeous. It’s impossible.” She clicks her tongue and tries to recall something. “What about that girl? What’s her name again? Jeongyeon?”

“Shut up and just show me around your pub,” Nayeon tries to change the topic and relief struck her when she sees the older girl’s big smile while noding.

The pub is called ‘Portkey’, inspired from a magical object in the Harry Potter series. Nayeon grins as she remembers how much the both of them love that series. Portkey is like a bar-restaurant that has a vintage-y vibes. It also has a stage for musicians and spoken-word poetry poets to perform.

Sunmi tells her where she got the liquors, furnitures, and some designs. Some even came from other countries such as, well, Italy. Nayeon gives her an enthusiastic response whenever she would tell something amazing. She’s proud that her Sunmi unnie has come so far.

“I’ll be having an open mic on my soft opening,” Sunmi trails and looks at Nayeon with hope in her eyes. It’s the same look that Sunmi gives her whenever she would request Nayeon to sing.

“No,” she shakes her head.

“Come on, bunny. You’ll do well!” she whines like a child while pulling Nayeon’s arms. She does this whenever she desperately wants something and Nayeon knows that it could get more annoying than that.

“Besides, it’s been years since I last heard you sing. I miss your voice.”

“Please,” Sunmi says pleadingly with her puppy eyes which Nayeon loathes… or loves. Whatever.

“Fine,” she says. “But only one song,” she adds before Sunmi could list songs that might as well turn the open mic as Nayeon’s mini concert.

“Yey! Okay, okay.” Sunmi engulfs her again into a warm hug. Nayeon rests her chin on the other girl’s shoulders and inhales her scent. How could she ever say no to her?

They catch up more until it was time for Nayeon to go because it’s getting late. Sunmi offers to give her a ride, but Nayeon rejects. She likes walking alone at night anyways.

==========

The next day, Nayeon slips a note in Minatozaki Sana’s locker, saying that she hid a pack of cigarette inside the broom cupboard so she would stop bothering her.

Days go smoothly in JYPU, despite being hectic for some. Jihyo has finally found a new news writer which happened to be the new girl, Mina. The cupcake girl. Jihyo praises the new recruit, saying that she didn’t have to teach the news writer that much because the writer already knew what to do. Nayeon shrugs her shoulders. She would have to see Mina’s talent herself just to be sure. Tzuyu is doing well at volleyball. Dahyun is also improving her writing skills in feature with the help of Nayeon. She makes sure that Dahyun doesn’t write another no good article or her article wouldn’t be stormed with red marks.

The school dismisses the students earlier that day for student athletes to train. Nayeon takes the papers of student publication to her hiding room with Minatozaki Sana. When she got there, she lets out a deep sigh, confused if she’s relieved or upset that Minatozaki Sana isn’t there.

Nayeon goes to the broom cupboard to get some cigarettes. She sees that there are only three cigarettes left.

“Fucking chain smoker,” she whispers to herself.

Nayeon pulls out a decent enough armchair from the stack and sits. She checks the articles. Some were no good. Some were good enough but not the best.

Nayeon stops when she realized that the article that she’s holding now is written by Myoui Mina. Nayeon’s impressed. The article has no fragments. Every sentence and paragraphs have cohesion and coherence. The words are carefully crafted. Nayeon has nothing to critique. She passes. If she writes like this in the competition, she might win.

Nayeon is checking more article when the door blasts.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Minatozaki,” Nayeon says while her hands is on her chest. She feels her heart beating so fast because she was caught off guard… or because it’s Minatozaki Sana? She doesn’t know. She hears the other girl let out a chuckle, her eyes smiling and nose scrunching.

Nayeon feels a tug in her chest.

“What time is it?” Nayeon says while looking around, only to realize once again that the room has no window.

“Almost seven. I think.” Sana says and pulls a chair near Nayeon. She pulls a stick of cigarette and lights it up. Silence sweeps over them, and Nayeon continues, trying to ignore the other girl.

“Look. Look.” Sana taps Nayeon’s elbow. Nayeon twitches due to their contact. She swears she felt something gush in her body as soon as their skin made contact. But the other girl didn’t look like she felt it.

“What?” Nayeon says in an irritable tone, acting as if her mind isn’t clouded by the thought of wanting more of the girl in front of her.

Sana chuckles and puffs on her cigarette. She makes out three consecutive smoke rings.

“See?” Sana says proudly like a kid she is. Nayeon smirks. She really has influenced this girl, and she’s not so sure if she’s proud of it. Nayeon stares at the girl, and something pops into her mind.

“What?” Sana asks. Nayeon must have been looking at her face for quite some time now.

“Do you,” Nayeon trails, trying to gather the proper words, but suddenly her extensive vocabulary shrinks into nothingness, and she can’t find the right words to say. Minatozaki Sana just gives her a curious look, waiting for her to talk.

“Nothing,” Nayeon shakes her head. She’s insane for thinking that thought in the first place. 

Minatozaki Sana shrugs and calls her “Weirdo.”

‘Do you want to hear me sing at Sunmi unnie’s bar?’

She mentally slaps herself. It has been a habit now.

“What’s that?” Sana asks. Nayeon tries to hide the paper from her, but she’s quick enough. Nayeon glares at her.

“School publication? Are you kidding me?” Sana laughs her throat out like she did that time in the diner.

“Shut up,” Nayeon snatches back the papers. Nayeon lets Minatozaki Sana’s teasing and laughter fall into deaf ears and continues checking. Suddenly, they hear some noise. Both of them were frozen in place when they realize that it was the janitor. They both look at each other wide-eyed.

Hearts racing, they both pick up their things and run toward the broom closet, each mumbling curses underneath their breathe.

“Shit, the cigarettes.” Nayeon runs back and grabs the pack quickly. She uses the hem of her uniform to brush off the ashes. There’s no time for disgust.

They forgot to turn off the lights.

They manage to fit themselves inside the cramped broom cupboard. Both out of breathe, they peek through the small gap and sees the janitor. The janitor scans the room and his eyes stops directly at the broom cupboard. Both of the girls are shocked.

“Shi-“ Sana almost curse, but Nayeon covers her mouth with her hand just in time. She feels her breathe tickles her palm. Heavy. Moist. She feels something inside her tingles. Something so new yet familiar. Nayeon stares at the other girl, wide-eyed. Confused. Bewildered. Slowly, she removes her hand, but regrets it as soon as she did. It feels like a crime not feeling those tingles. But she stops herself before she even get drunk by that feeling. She stops herself before she could get drunk by the feeling Minatozaki Sana gives her. Minatozaki Sana. Out of all people, why her?

Nayeon rests her head on the cupboard, catching her breathe. Her nose picks up the other girl’s scent, Prada’s candy kiss with a hint of smoke. It feels like she’s run a thousand miles, when in fact all she did was be with Minatozaki Sana inside a cupboard. It feels suffocating. Literally and figuratively. She tries to justify her feelings. Surely, she doesn’t like the girl in front of her, right? Right. It’s impossible. It has only been months. Plus, she hates her. She loathes her with the very core of her soul. She is her nemesis. The one that keeps on vying for Nayeon’s spot as the campus queen.

Nayeon feels Minatozaki Sana’s hair tickling her. Tickling the whole of her. She couldn’t move. Suddenly her body’s like ice, frozen and cold. Her body disobeys her. Nayeon’s consciousness tells her to move, but her body wouldn’t. She feels betrayed, yet at the same time thankful.

Peeking through the gap, Nayeon sees the janitor turn off the light and leave. She returns her gaze at the girl in front of her. Suddenly she feels her nose touch Minatozaki Sana’s. Her brain short-circuits and her instincts act up. She pushes Sana’s face away from her, the other girl’s head hits the cupboard and lets out a small “Ow!”

“Fuck off, Minatozaki.” Nayeon pushes the cupboard’s door and picks her things up, not minding the other girl who’s whining in pain. Good thing the light on the hallway is on so they could see a bit. She just wants to go out as soon as possible and remove her unprecedented thoughts and feelings that has been lingering in her mind.

“What a meanie,” Sana pouts and Nayeon swears that she could fit her inside her pocket. But she wouldn’t. She shouldn’t. Because she’s supposed to be her enemy. They’re not even supposed to be together. Right now. At almost eight in the evening. Inside an empty room. Alone together.

Nayeon’s losing her mind.

She thinks it’s because of stress.

She hikes her bag up her shoulders and look at the girl. Sana’s still slouching in the broom cupboard, refusing to get out while massaging the back of her head that hit the cupboard’s wall. Nayeon feels a little guilty for what she did, but just a little.

“Stop being whiny. It wasn’t even that painful,” she says to Sana… or more like to herself. She pins her gaze at the glass pane on the door, trying to avoid the other girl.

“You’re saying that because it wasn’t you,” Sana says while pouting. Nayeon grips the strap of her bag because she swear to god she couldn’t handle the other girl being whiny… or cute. Nayeon hates it. It’s annoying her. It’s annoying her that she could be that cute in front of her.

She tries to block her thoughts before it could get worse.

“Help me stand up,” Sana raises her hand to Nayeon, waiting for her to hold it and pull her. But Nayeon just slaps her hand away, telling her to fuck off. Nayeon goes to the door and stops.

“Faster,” she commands the other girl. Sana stands up and removes the dust that got into her. She collects her things and whines on how mean Nayeon is.

They walk through the ghosted hallway of JYPU. The very same hallways that witness the years of loathing, exchange of piercing gaze, and exchange of insults between Im Nayeon and Minatozaki Sana. Fate might be playing with the two of them now. Because they’re together, walking in peace. Without bickering. Without exchanging rude words. Without piercing gaze seeping through each other’s soul. Just the two of them walking in silence.

Nayeon is losing it.

===========

Nayeon’s the first one to arrive at Portkey’s soft opening. The bar’s still empty and only Sunmi’s there.

“Oh, where’s your ‘squad’ at?” Sunmi asks in surprise.

“Stop using ‘squad’ it makes me cringe,” Nayeon rolls her eyes at the older girl.

“What? I’m only a few years older than you, Nayeon-ssi. I could use the words that you teens use these days.” Sunmi slaps Nayeon’s arms playfully, and Nayeon just ignores her. Both of them take a seat on the toolbar.

“Hey, I invited my nephew from your school. Maybe you know him! You could be friends.” Sunmi says while tapping Nayeon shoulders, ignoring the negative vibe that she radiates. Nayeon raises her eyebrows and looks at her unnie like she’s out of her mind. The thought of Nayeon making friends is impossible.

People start to show up at Porkey, and Sunmi greets them one by one. Nayeon sits at the table that Sunmi reserve for them and waits for Jihyo, Tzuyu, and Dahyun. She’s proud that her Unnie is finally achieving her dreams. Nayeon looks around and a lot of people are really there for Portkey’s soft opening. But Nayeon wants to see only one person.

“Already have a song in mind?” Nayeon looks back to the one that spoke and sees Jihyo, Tzuyu, and Dahyun. They take their seats as they familiarize themselves with the interior of the bar, complimenting how good it looks.

“Nayeon-unnie, you’re gonna sing tonight?” Dahyun asks. 

Nayeon sighs and nods. “Sunmi-unnie made me promise.”

“What are you gonna sing, unnie?” Tzuyu asks.

Nayeon takes out her phone, opens her music app, and puts her song on shuffle. ‘Upper West Side’ by King Princess plays. She show them the screen and says, “This.”

While listening to the song, Nayeon wonders if she likes these kind of songs. She wonders what genre does she listens to. Well, Nayeon’s sure that she doesn’t listen to rock tho. She just doesn’t look like someone who enjoys that kind of music. She looks like someone who puts Taylor Swift’s music on repeat until she grows sick of it.

Nayeon wonders what she’s doing. Is she asleep? What time does she sleep? Where is she? Is she neatly tuck on her king-sized bed? Or is she wrapped around his arms tonight?

Nayeon wants to stop her thoughts.

But it doesn’t.

Thankfully Tzuyu slaps her back to reality. They talk about how Sunmi’s dreams are finally coming true. They talk about how they were as kid. They talk about random things.

Everybody’s attention is caught when Sunmi takes the mic on the stage. She extends to them their gratitude, and tells them the story on how she slowly established Portkey. The crowd laughs whenever she tells something witty or funny about her story to success.

“Now to make the night more exciting, I’ve invited some musicians and poets tonight with us,” the crowd cheers and raises their glasses. “But not before my favorite childhood friend does of course,” the crowd laughs and Sunmi apologizes to Jihyo which the girl just take with a laugh and no hard feelings.

Nayeon wonders why Sunmi didn’t invite Jihyo instead. She goes up to the stage. Sunmi taps her shoulders and wishes her good luck.

The music starts and she closes her eyes as she feels the rhythm of the song, embodies the melody, and reach the proper notes, and of course sings the lyrics.

She only has one person in mind.

And she wishes she was there to hear her sing, watch her perform.

But when Nayeon opens her eyes, she’s not there.

_You’re so cute bet you really wanna be a star_

_To feel like gold when you’re dancing on broken hearts_

_And you know it’s true_

_You’re no good ‘til they’re looking at you_

_Bad front, I can see right through, yeah_

_I can’t stop judging everything you do_

_But I can’t get enough of you_

She realizes how this song fits exactly how she feels for Minatozaki Sana. She realizes how she can’t get enough of her and how she wants to know more of the girl. She wants to just talk to her again in the rooftop while the sun rests on their sight or talk to her inside their secret room as that comforting silence blankets the atmosphere between them.

Applause rings on her ears, but all she wants to hear was her voice. Smile greets her but she only wants to see a particular person’s smile.

She gets off the stage and returns to their table. Jihyo, Tzuyu, and Dahyun praise her for her performance. Nayeon thanks them.

She sinks onto her seat and remains silent. She tries to burry all her feelings and busies herself with social media and games. She fiddles on her phone while the other girls talk about random stuff. She lets the music from the band deafen her, silently wishing that she would be deaf from her own thoughts.

“Oh, why are they here?” Tzuyu asks while pointing at the door.

Nayeon curiously looks up and sees the person that she badly wants to see tonight. Suddenly, she feels giddy and something inside her sparks. All of the negative emotion inside her surfaces.

Momo and Chaeyoung is behind her. Sunmi greets them. Nayeon wonders which one among Sana, Momo, or Chaeyoung is Sunmi’s niece. But she remember that Sunmi tells her it’s a nephew, and it’s a ‘him’.

A boy joins their conversation and hugs Sunmi.

‘Oh.’

It’s Mingyu.

Nayeon ignores the pang in her chest when Mingyu wraps his arms around Minatozaki Sana.

Too much for wishing to see her tonight.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you have a nice day. Please wait for my next update~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaahh we're halfway through the story already:(( I'm so sorry to keep you waiting! Swiftie-onces (idk if that's a thing but you get what I mean) follow me on twt! @ nanashipoms let's interact!

Apparently, Sunmi decided that Nayeon and the girls should be friends with her nephew and his friends.

It was the longest night for Nayeon, a minute felt like years, and hours, a century. Sunmi deemed it necessary for the both groups to sit in one table. Nayeon and the girls had no choice because, well, it’s Sunmi. Jihyo mostly did the talking, but she only does when Sunmi is around. Mingyu’s friends from the basketball team didn’t seem to mind the set up, but to the girls, including Minatozaki Sana’s girlfriends, the awkwardness was very much felt.

Also, it didn’t help that Mingyu and Sana was sitting directly in front of her, flirting from time to time. Nayeon mustered all her strength not to puke her guts out whenever Mingyu and Sana would showcase their public display of affection. It’s not like Nayeon haven’t seen it before, but it felt different seeing them flirt up close. Nayeon wanted to leave, if only it wasn’t for Sunmi. As a compensation, Nayeon would roll her eyes at Sana when the others are not looking, but Sana would just stick her tongue out as a response, almost as if she wants to drive Nayeon at the edge more.

Nayeon intended to kick Minatozaki Sana to shut her up, but she hit Mingyu’s shins instead. Mingyu howls in pain like an idiot he is, his eyes almost teary. Nayeon says it was an accident and tries her best not to laugh out loud, but she kept on grinning. Apparently Mingyu said that it’s okay and it didn’t hurt, but his face was telling otherwise. Sana side-eyed her, but she paid her no mind. She caught a glance at Jihyo who gave her the same look as Sana’s. She ignored the both of them. Kicking Mingyu has been the highlight of her night. Scratch that. Kicking Mingyu is the highlight of her week. Period.

Just when Nayeon thought the night was finally taking her side, Sunmi arrived at their table looking red and a bit tipsy. She told them that the both group should expand their circle of friends more, and there’s no better way to do that than combining forces with each group. Sunmi forced them to exchange numbers and follow each other on social media. Nayeon refused to at first, but when Sunmi almost created a scene during her bar’s soft opening, she had no choice but to do it.

She unfollowed and deleted their numbers as soon as Sunmi turned her back.

However, Sana being the way she is, she didn’t delete Nayeon’s number. Now, she won’t stop bugging her every single time she could. She wouldn’t leave Nayeon alone. She’s like a leech clinging on her skin and hitting her nerves every damn time.

One time, Nayeon threatened Sana that she would block her number if she wouldn’t stop. But Sana just responded telling her to try it. And so Nayeon did. But as soon as she blocked Minatozaki Sana, Nayeon’s maid came knocking on her door, telling her that someone named Minatozaki Sana from her school is calling on her family’s telephone line. That was when Nayeon knew that she’s fucked up and that girl wouldn’t stop on bothering her and her peaceful life, if you could call it one.

From: Sana

Take me to a dog café🥺

From: Nayeon

No.

From: Sana

Bring kookeu!

Nayeon sighs as she struggles to keep kookeu in her arms as he twitches and wiggles his tail, excited to play with other dogs. Kookeu already knows this place because Nayeon always brings him here with Jihyo, Dahyun and Tzuyu. Nayeon pays for their entrance fee and hears the other girl beside her giggle. She side-eyes her and passes kookeu to the other girl. She takes their passion fruit tea that’s included with the fee.

It took Sana a while to convince Nayeon to go to a dog café with her. Nayeon really didn’t want to come at first, but Sana wouldn’t stop. She reminds her of Sunmi, really. Both of them wouldn’t stop whining and be annoying until they both get what they want. It took Minatozaki Sana exactly 23 missed calls and a hundred of messages that Nayeon didn’t bother to read.

Sana sways kookeu like a baby and peppers him with kisses. She talks to him with her baby voice and makes a couple of weird sounds that Nayeon haven’t heard before. She thinks Sana might be talking in alien language, but whatever. The cashier chuckles at the sight of Sana and calls her cute.

Nayeon gives her a piercing glare, making the cashier zip her mouth and continue doing her job.

“Kookeu-sama ajujuju you’re so cute and fluffy unlike your eomma,” Sana says as she plays with kookeu’s fur.

Nayeon ignores her last statement and pushes her toward the door of dog’s corner. “Let’s go.” The other girl chuckles, her nose scrunching and eyes smiling. She excitedly switches her weight on both her feet like a child. Nayeon opens the door and hears the other girl beside her squeals. Sana quickly runs inside and leaves Nayeon behind.

There were a lot of people since today’s weekend, but there are more dogs, ranging from teacups to huge ones like huskies. Nayeon tries to hide her excitement as she enters the pen. She sits down near Sana and watches the other girl play. Sana doesn’t know who to play with first because a pack of dogs greet her as soon as she enters the pen.

There are a lot of dogs that surrounds her. But what caught Nayeon’s attention was kookeu, of course. But the real reason is that Kookeu hasn’t left Sana’s side and he keeps on trying to get her attention along with the other dogs. Kookeu loves her.

“Hey little one,” Nayeon greets the approaching Bichon Frise. The dog climbs on Nayeon’s lap. “Do you have an owner?” she asks in a soft voice as she pets her. Nayeon chuckles as the bichon fries presses her head onto hers and licks her face. She plays with the puppy’s ears and pats her head.

She plays catch with the puppy and teaches her a few tricks. She rewards her with treats and compliments. Kookeu marches in and tries to get Nayeon’s attention. He keeps on poking Nayeon’s hands and trying to snatch the treats that she gives to the other dog. Nayeon thinks that kookeu might be jealous and laughs at the thought of it.

“You! Omg what did you do to Nayeon?” Sana sits beside her, carrying a pug with her. Nayeon grunts and throws a treat at her, which the pug wholeheartedly rushes after and eats. Both of them chuckles. Kookeu runs to Sana’s arms and licks her face.

“He likes you,” Nayeon points out.

“I know right.” Sana says in a confident voice that makes Nayeon want to snatch her baby from her.

“You should be honored. He doesn’t like many people, you know.”

“It must be my charms. I’ve been told that it’s something else.” Sana says in an aegyo voice and shows her puppy eyes. Nayeon wants to get out of there and save both kookeu and herself from Minatozaki Sana’s unbelievable shamelessness.

The girls decide to take a break from petting all the other dogs first. They sit at a corner table while they nosh the sweets that Nayeon brought. They tried to make Kookeu play with the other dogs but he wouldn’t leave their side, so they just let him be. Sana would pet him from time to time, making sure that the dog receives all the attention that he deserves.

They are currently opening a pack of malang cow, when a little girl approaches them. The little girl’s hair is tied on a double side ponytail and her eyes are big. She reminds Nayeon of Boo from Monsters Inc. Nayeon just stares at her like how she does at everyone that she meets first time. Suddenly she feels the other girl kick her under the table. She lets out a small “ow” but the other girl just gives her a cold stare and rolls her eyes at her.

“Hey, do you want some?” Sana offers the little girl some candies with the voice that she uses when talking to kookeu. But the other girl shakes her head and plays with the hem of her shirt. The little girl glances at kookeu and looks at him adorably.

“Do you want to play with him?” Sana asks again. This time the younger girl nods. Her eyes light up and a smile escapes her lips, showing her missing front tooth. Sana carries kookeu and hands him to the younger girl without even asking for Nayeon’s permission. Sana tells her kookeu’s name and to be careful while playing. Kookeu doesn’t seem to mind and licks the young girl’s face which makes her laugh. Nayeon wonders what has gotten into kookeu today because he’s being friendly.

“I hate kids.” Nayeon says as they watch the other girl takes kookeu away from them to play.

“You hate everyone. Why do you hate everyone?” Sana asks as she continues to eat once again. Nayeon doesn’t mind her and just fiddles on her phone, pretending not to hear her.

“The world isn’t so bad if you appreciate it enough.” Sana tries to open. That makes Nayeon stop. She looks at the other girl and hesitation shows in her face for a while. Sana looks at her like she wants to encourage her to talk to her but is afraid to invade her privacy.

Nayeon sighs. She looks at the young girl that’s playing catch with kookeu right now. “Don’t you hate how temporary everything is?”

“What do you mean?” Sana frowns.

“Don’t you hate how easy people come and go?” Nayeon looks at her straight in the eyes, making sure that the other girl understands her question. Sana nods and makes a ‘hhmm’ sound like she understands what she’s trying to say. But to be honest, Nayeon doesn’t think she does. No one does.

“I used to think that way too, you know? But after I left Japan…” Sana trails and shakes her head as she tries to find the right words. “No, I mean, you’re temporary too. At some point, I’m sure you’ve left something or someone behind. I’m sure that what you’re feeling, this,” she points at Nayeon. “You’ve made someone felt like that before too.”

Nayeon frowns at the other girl. Suddenly she has become someone else. It’s like she’s not the Minatozaki Sana that Nayeon has come to know. But on the other hand, what does Nayeon know about her anyways?

“I was afraid that I would miss them so much it would drive me insane. But I realized the best thing I could do is to make them feel how important they are to me while they’re still by my side.” Sana drops the bomb and takes a bite from her snack like it’s nothing, like she didn’t just make something inside Nayeon spark. Nayeon realizes how hard it must be from her to leave everything behind and start another life in another country with another language that she probably could barely understand by then.

“Am I being too emo? It’s your fault! You started this,” Sana laughs and tries to lift up the atmosphere. Nayeon’s thankful because she doesn’t know how to respond.

They decide to make most of their time and go back to petting and playing with the dogs. Nayeon approaches the bichon frise puppy again. The puppy adorably wiggles its tail on the way to Nayeon’s arms and Nayeon gives her a big hug. She carries her like a baby and looks at the name chart of every dog in the café. She finds the bichon frise picture and reads her name, “Satang.”

Nayeon furrows her eyebrows and tries to whack her brains. She swears she has heard it somewhere before, but where? She turns her back, still trying to recall where she heard it and she sees Minatozaki Sana playing with kookeu and the little girl that approached them a while ago. “Oh, Sana!” she calls her. The other girl looks up at her with a confused expression.

“You have the same name as her!” Nayeon says in a cheerful voice and raises the bichon frise higher. She holds her paws and sways it in a wave motion while bouncing up and down.

“Really?!” the other girl squeals and runs toward them, leaving the child and kookeu behind.

Nayeon points at the name chart, “Satang, right?”

“How did you know—oh,” she says in a small voice. Both of them tries to remove that specific memory in their mind. The cafeteria incident.

Nayeon ignores the last statement and puts down the puppy. She gets a ball and plays catch with Satang, the dog, not Minatozaki Sana. A few dogs join their game and suddenly Nayeon has become a dog trainer or something of that sort. Kookeu didn’t pay her any attention and continues to play with the child, but Nayeon doesn’t mind.

She was teaching Satang how to do a handshake when suddenly, Satang, the real Satang this time, the real Minatozaki Sana, rests her chin on Nayeon’s shoulder. Nayeon feels her muscles stiffen as the scent of lavender mixed with Prada’s Candy kiss clouds her mind.

“You look so cute,” she whispers and reaches for the puppy’s paws. Nayeon stays frozen still, dumbfounded with what she just heard. She prays that the other girl doesn’t hear her heart thumping madly. They’re so close, but Nayeon doesn’t push her away. Maybe it’s because her brain is malfunctioning right now.

“What?” Nayeon whispers so softly she could barely hear herself. She tries to ignore the fact that they’re so close she could feel Minatozaki Sana breathe into her fucking neck and it tickles her. Or the fact that she hates herself because she’s assuming that Minatozaki Sana just called her cute. Her. Not the puppy but her.

“What?” Sana echoes and smiles. Nayeon couldn’t see because the moment she turns her head even just for a millimeter, she knows she’ll lose her mind. She couldn’t see, but they’re so close she could feel the other girl’s smile. She just feels it.

Sana lets her hand slide on Nayeon’s arms, tracing its structure like she knows how to navigate it. She holds her carefully, like she’s handling an expensive, vulnerable vase. A familiar sense of warmth settles in Nayeon’s stomach and she lets herself be drunk with it. Unconsciously, she leans toward the other girl, resting her back against her frame. Sana steadies herself, making sure to support Nayeon’s weight. She exhales a warm, moist breathe against Nayeon’s neck, and it sends shivers down her spine. Nayeon feels so absorbed with the feeling, her mind has completely stopped working.

Before she could realize what she’s doing, someone approaches them.

“Ah, what a cute couple. Remember when we were younger, honey?” Sana removes her hand from Nayeon as soon as the woman approaches them. Nayeon’s stomach dropped as soon as Sana removes her touch. She tries to pull herself together, but the feeling was so strong, so immaculate. Her body craves for more.

Another woman approaches them and wraps her arms on the woman that just talked, “Of course. Good times. Good times.” Both of the woman chuckles. Sana and Nayeon are confused and bewildered.

“How long have you two been dating?” The first woman asks.

“Excuse me?” Nayeon blurts out as soon as the first woman asked them the question. Suddenly her mind starts to work again and all her senses are back to normal. She raises her eyebrows at the woman and looks at her like she’s fucking losing her mind. She wants to scoff because she’s offended with the fact that they were mistaken to be dating… or the fact that they’re not dating.

“We…” Sana trails after Nayeon, trying to find the right answer… or words. “W-we’re not…” Sana looks down, trying to hide the embarrassment from her face.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” the first woman waves her hands and bows. “It’s just that the two of you looks like a couple. We were watching you two a while ago.”

Nayeon wants to punch the woman in front of her and to tell her to get the fuck out of their face. Both woman expresses their apologies and bows multiple times. Nayeon doesn’t know exactly why but the fact that it was an honest mistake makes her blood boil even more.

She looks at the girl beside her, still close but enough to make the both of them inhale oxygen and not each other’s breathe. Sana’s cheeks are red and she couldn’t look at Nayeon nor at the women that approach them. She’s playing with the other puppies, but Nayeon knows that she’s just doing it to distract herself from what just happened.

After that, they didn’t stay much longer. Sana says that she has somewhere else to be in an hour. Nayeon wonders where but didn’t ask. She knows better anyways.

It took them a while to get kookeu from the little girl. Both parties seem to enjoy their time together and do not want to be separated. The little girl almost throw a tantrum in the café. But her parents handle her.

Nayeon doesn’t really know what happened because Minatozaki Sana did all the talking and comforting the younger girl.

Sana and kookeu wave their goodbye to the young girl, and the little one waves back, her cheeks tear-stained and lips pouty. Sana calls the child cute before leaving the pen, and Nayeon’s heart suddenly jumps.

“You look so cute,” she whispers and reaches for the puppy’s paws.

Now she wants to punch herself for remembering it.

The other girl catches up with her and bumps her shoulders playfully. She chuckles onto kookeu’s furs so only her eyes were showing. Her eyes. Since when did her eyes become so attractive?

They walk side by side together, their skin almost but not touching. A good kind of silence fills up their own bubble. The one with that sense of familiarity they have been sharing since their first rooftop encounter. The one that the both of them crave whenever they’re in a bad mood or whenever something sad pops into their mind. Nayeon closes and opens her fist multiple times. It’s making her mad. It’s making her mad that Sana’s hand is dangling so freely on her side and she’s trying her very best to ignore the temptation to just… hold it.

Nayeon puts her hand inside the pocket of her ankle pants and digs crescents onto her palm. She savors the feeling instead. It was like Minatozaki Sana and she are walking in a white room and no one’s there aside from the both of them… and kookeu. The world doesn’t matter. The bustling and hustling of people on their way to tend to their own business evaporates into thin air.

It’s so soothing and so perfect Nayeon doesn’t want it to end. But as they take another step, Nayeon knows that the end of that feeling is nearing. She tries to walk slowly to cheat her way into time and make it longer, but the corner where they would soon part their ways unfolds into her sight.

They take the step and arrive at the intersection. Suddenly, Nayeon was awakened and realizes that it’s time for her to wake up and shake her delusions off. She looks around and sees people minding their own business. Some are probably on their way to work. Some are probably on their way to meet their friends. Some are probably just strolling and shopping. Vehicles, both private and public, passes by and leaves a trail of smoke behind.

Nayeon lets out a deep sigh.

“So…” Sana trails. She passes kookeu’s leash onto Nayeon and lets out a smile when she jumps a little in surprise. It seems like Nayeon still haven’t caught up with reality yet. “That’s my way,” Sana points to the direction opposite to where Nayeon’s going. She just nods as a response. She looks down at Kookeu who’s looking up at the both of them, switching glances in between.

They wait for the red light and every second is heavy. Nayeon prays for whoever’s up there to make every second last a minute. For every breathe she takes, she wishes that the green light would stay as it is. But every moment has to end. The light switches to red and the vehicles stopped passing. People started crossing, some half-running and some just take their time.

Sana smiles at her, but this time, her eyes doesn’t. She takes a step forward and continue walking. Nayeon watches her back, and she doesn’t mind that a few people are bumping her. “Sana!” she calls her. The other girl looks back at her with a confused expression. “Text me when you get home.” Nayeon blurts out. It’s so sudden, she wants to slap herself. What’s she doing?

The other girl smiles, this time her eyes do so too and her nose scrunching. She waves at her and shouts back “I will!” Sana walks backward while smiling and waving, not minding if she’ll bump another person. Nayeon watches her until she crosses the other side of the busy street and disappears from her sight.

She looks down at Kookeu who’s playing with her shoes. “Let’s go, kookeu.” she pulls his leash. She strides along the busy street smiling like an idiot. It’s a day well-spent for her.

==========

Nayeon gets out of the shower. She uses the towel to dry her hair and sits down at the edge of her bed. She stops what she’s doing and looks up at the ceiling, directly at the light bulb. She feels droplets of water falling on her back, making the back of her shirt wet, but she just lets it. It’s her habit to hurt her eyes whenever she’s stressed or frustrated or mad. She doesn’t know where she got it but she’s been doing it ever since. She looks at her wall clock and it says 6:47pm.

She reaches for her phone and opens it. Still no message. She pushes the power button multiple times, hoping that when the screen lights up, a text message would appear. But after almost wrecking the button, there’s still no message received. She combs her hair using her hand and grips her roots. Frustrated, she sighs and throws her phone on her bed.

What’s she doing? Where is she? Why isn’t she home yet? Did she forget to text Nayeon? That’s impossible, right? It’s Sana, and Sana wouldn’t forget to annoy the shit out of her. Also, she said that she will text Nayeon. But it’s evening now and Nayeon still haven’t received one. Maybe she’s busy. Maybe she’s doing something important, something more important than talking to Nayeon. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to Nayeon anymore. Or is she with Mingyu? Nayeon furrows her eyebrows and frowns at the thought of it. She ignores her stomach dropping and the heavy weight on her shoulders.

A wall of books greet her and she scans through it. She pulls 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. The weight of the trilogy compressed in one book strains her arms. She opens it where she left off and continues reading. She’s drawn by the author’s writing style and diction. It amazes her how he gives his readers the chance to interpret his story in different ways and how her perception of it matures as she rereads it after quite some time. She wonders how Aomame and Tengo are connected. She wonders what’s up with the two moons. She wonders what really Fuka eri’s story is and what does she means by “little people are real.”

She reads, but for every time that she finishes a page, she looks at her phone.

She hangs her head on the edge of her bed, letting her hair touch the floor, and raises her arms in a straight line to read the book. She rolls over and lies down on her stomach. When she got tired of that position, she rolls over again, bends her knees in 45 degrees and puts her foot on top of it. It’s a comfortable position. After a few more rolling overs and fixing her sheets because she’s so perky, her phone vibrates.

Excitement gushes over her, and she tries to calm herself. She opens her phone and sees what she’s been waiting for the entire time.

From: Sana

Just got home

Nayeon grins so big that her cheeks is almost ripping. She feels her heart beating as she types “okaeri” a Japanese word that she learned from google a while ago.

It’s gonna be a good night.

==========

Nayeon enters the music room. She walks toward the piano and slides her fingers on the keys which are slightly dusty, but she doesn’t mind. It has been a while since she last played inside this room. She always visit this room when she feels, for the lack of better words, somber.

She learns the piano when she was nine. Vividly, the memory floods her. Dahyun badly wants to learn the piano but was too shy to attend lessons and for some reason, she doesn’t want to have a private lesson. So, Nayeon offers to study piano with her. Dahyun was ecstatic to hear the idea and agreed right away. Nayeon really wasn’t fond of the instrument but she learns to love it as she progress.

She puts her fingers on the keys. Unconsciously, she plays her own rendition of ‘Out of My League’ by Stephen Speaks. She doesn’t exactly know why she’s feeling dull today. Maybe she woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe it’s because her period is nearing… Or maybe because she’s missing someone.

Absorbed in the feeling, she lets the notes and rhythm embrace her. The notes ring in her ears perfectly. She finishes the song elegantly, as if she was in a movie. She wonders what it is like to play in front of a huge crowd.

Nayeon’s surprised when she hears someone claps. “I didn’t know you play the piano,” Sana says. She’s leaning on the door.

“What are you doing here?” Nayeon furrows her eyebrows.

“I was passing by the hallway and heard the piano. Peeked at the glass pane only to see it was you.” Sana sits beside her. She acts as if she’s playing piano on the air and laughs at herself. Nayeon shakes her head. She really is shameless.

Sana bumps Nayeon’s shoulders playfully. “Do you sing, too?” she asks, but Nayeon ignores her. “Come on, let me hear that voice.” Nayeon sighs as she place her fingers on the keys. Sana giggles beside her.

She plays ‘State of Grace’ by Taylor Swift.

_I'm walking fast through the traffic lights_

_Busy streets and busy lives_

_And all we know_

_Is touch and go_

She imbues herself onto the song. All her feelings. All the push and pull that they’ve been doing.

_We are alone with our changing minds_

_We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds_

_Or fades in time_

She continues singing, making sure that every word is laced with her blooming feelings.

_And I never_

_Saw you coming_

_And I'll never_

_Be the same_

She remembers everything, from how they were each other’s nemesis at first to… this. She never imagined that she would be sitting alone with Minatozaki Sana inside a room, let alone singing her a song that conveys her overwhelming feelings for her. Fate really is dubious. One moment, she’s her most hated person. The next, she thinks she couldn’t function well without seeing or talking to her.

But Nayeon wouldn’t change anything. This feeling. Her feelings. She treasures it.

_This is a state of grace_

_This is the worth- while fight_

_Love is a ruthless game_

_Unless you play it good and right_

She hopes that the other girl does, too.

Nayeon finishes the song, but she doesn’t look up. She’s afraid. Her heart is beating loudly.

“I-“ Sana stammers. She tries to find the right words to say. Silence envelops them and Nayeon’s terrified to look at the other girl. All her confidence is gone now. She hears Sana inhales deeply so she does too. She didn’t realize she’s been holding her breathe until now. “Wow, Nayeon. I didn’t know you could sing.”

Finally, she looks up at the other girl. Her expression is soft. Her eyes are glassy. She smiles at her and the other girl smiles back. Nayeon hopes she got her message.

Singing that song made her feel light, like she just lets out something that she didn’t know she’s been holding on for a while now. It’s like that feeling of hanging your bag on your shoulders and realizing you’ve removed your textbooks because the exam week is finally over. Or that feeling of finishing your five-hundred word essay after playing with words and expanding all the contractions.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” Nayeon says.

‘There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, but I’m willing to show all of them to you.

There are a lot of things you don’t know about me. There are a lot of things my friends do not know about me. But I’ll tell you everything you want to know.’

Nayeon smiles and reaches for the other girl’s thumb. She presses it. Two long ones and two short ones. Maybe this is enough for now.

“Will you watch me cheer for the governor’s cup next month?” Sana asks out of nowhere.

“Do you want me to?”

“I wouldn’t exactly hate it.”

She stands up. “See you then.”

She walks outside the room and leaves the other girl alone because she couldn’t handle it anymore. Another second in that room and she’ll straight up tell her how she feels. With words, not song. Right then and there. Without hesitation.

But she’s forgetting one thing: The Governor’s Cup is a basketball competition.

Minatozaki Sana will be cheering for Kim Mingyu, and she’ll be watching her from afar.

==========

“Nayeon!” Jennie squeals as she squeezes her way through the crowd grinning. Someone bumps her and she lets out a little “oh” as she tries to balance herself, careful not to spill the beer that she’s holding. Nayeon couldn’t see her face clearly because it’s dark, but she could tell that she’s drunk… or tipsy.

She pulls Nayeon in a tight hug, “You came to my party!” Nayeon could smell alcohol mixed with her perfume. She pats Jennie’s back and pulls away from her, “Of course.” Nayeon grins back.

“The boys are at the back tapping the keg,” Jennie hiccups and waves her hand. They both make their way through the backyard. It’s not yet the peak of the party but she could already see people making out on the stairs. A case of soft drinks and canned beers are messily put on the table. They passed by a couple who’s kissing torridly in the kitchen counter. And Nayeon could see brownies being baked in the oven. She couldn’t wait to take a bite of it.

“All hail the queen!” Hwang Hyunjin from the football team greets them as he raises the keg pump that’s not been inserted yet. Nayeon grins and punches him playfully. “Why the fuck is the keg not ready yet? I’m gonna beat the shit out of you.” she warns. A sound of “ooohhhs” and “boos” from his teammates fills up the backyard. Hyunjin tells them to shut up and hurriedly fix it. But he might have pumped it a few times more than he’s supposed to.

Hyunjin bows and gestures gracefully, “Your majesty, do the honors please?” She lets out a chuckle as she takes the beer line hose.

“Ready?” Hyunjin asks, waiting for Nayeon’s go signal to press the pump. Nayeon nods and Hyunjin returns a big smile at her. The football players around them shouts in excitement. It’s the first keg of the party. Jennie shouts with them too. She raises her cup, and spills a little beer on herself, but she’s too drunk to care.

“3, 2, 1 go!” All of them countdown. Hyunjin presses the pump, but instead of beer filling up Nayeon’s mouth, it was foam. She quickly spits it out, careful not to spill any on her clothing. She wipes off the foam off her chin and glares at the boy who tapped the keg.

“Motherfucker, you pumped it too much,” she says and hits him with the keg’s faucet. Hyunjin covers his head to avoid being hit and laughs out loud. Nayeon kicks him on the shins and that shut him up. The football team once again teases him.

“Bulldogs!” Someone shouts from behind. Nayeon looks back and sees Mingyu puffing his chest like an idiot. The boys cheer and chants ‘bulldogs’ continuously. Jennie joins in the chant too and dances to it. She really is drunk. Hyunjin claps Mingyu’s hands, grips it, and bumps himself onto his body. It’s something that boys do.

Sana trails behind him. “Are we late?” she asks. Jennie squeals and jumps at her. She hugs Sana and shouts “Not at all!” while showing her gummy smile. Sana hugs her back and chuckles. She sees Nayeon and pins her gaze at her.

Nayeon averts her attention and snatches a canned beer from one of the football player she doesn’t know. Normally, if you do that to someone you would call out that person, but he didn’t mind. It’s Nayeon anyways.

An hour into the party, she sees Sana being clingy and all with Mingyu as she always have been. Sana wouldn’t leave Mingyu’s side. When he’s playing beer pong with his teammates, she’s clinging on his waist. When he’s talking to their batch mates, she would distract him by blowing into his ears or playing with his hands. When his attention is not at hers, she would do anything to get it.

Nayeon is honestly so sick and tired of watching. And it’s not helping that she’s feeling something. Something that she knows she shouldn’t because it’s wrong. It’s so wrong and dangerous and selfish and chaotic and all kind of negative feelings out there. She’s feeling it and she hates it. So she decides to get drunk.

Hours into the party and a few beers later, Nayeon finally feels the alcohol taking a toll on her. She almost trip herself on the way to Jennie’s living room. Luckily, someone catches her before she could. Nayeon’s too drunk to recognize her or him or they. She pushes past that person and continues walking. The music’s so loud it’s deafening. She could physically feel the speaker’s vibration as the disco lights bounces on her skin.

My Ear’s Candy by Baek Ji Young plays and she pulls a girl toward her, their body pressing onto each other. “Hey, baby.” Yoo Jeongyeon greets her as she snakes her hand through Nayeon’s waist. Nayeon puts her hands on her shoulder and grins at her. She rests her forehead onto hers. Their face are so close that their nose are touching. Both girls chuckle as they sway their hips to the rhythm of the song.

Nayeon brings Jeongyeon’s face closer, teasing her more, and the other girl couldn’t stop smiling. She knows that Yoo Jeongyeon loves these kind of antics. Nayeon blows into her ears. She laughs while she grips the root of Jeong’s hair tightly but not enough to hurt her. She rests her forehead on Jeongyeon’s neck. She could smell the girl’s familiar scent and her stomach swirls in a good way as she remembers all the good nights and memories that they have shared.

The crowd cheers and raises their drinks. Nayeon pulls herself away from Jeongyeon to see what’s happening. She sees Sana enter the dance floor with her boyfriend. Her fucking boyfriend. She rolls her eyes as they snatch the spotlight.

“Don’t mind them,” she says and makes Jeongyeon look only at her. She sways her hips to the music and closes her eyes. She guides Yoo Jeongyeon’s hands all over her body. It’s not like they haven’t touched before anyways. They grind onto each other like crazy. Nayeon opens her eyes and sees Minatozaki Sana giving her the same look that she used to give her before their rooftop encounter. That gaze. That motherfucking gaze. Nayeon smirks at her and continues pressing bodies with Jeongyeon.

Sana dances with Mingyu the same way Nayeon does with Jeongyeon. The crowd’s ecstatic to see the cheerleading captain and basketball team’s captain dance so intense. A couple of people are shouting for the two of them to “get a room”. The basketball team watch them and cheer whenever Sana does something bold. They’re stealing the spotlight, and Nayeon hates it. But she has a plan.

The song is almost ending. Her body is still in rhythm with Yoo Jeongyeon. She lets her lead the dance this time. The crowd’s attention is still pinned on Sana and Mingyu. But before the song ends, Nayeon does a bold move.

She kisses Yoo Jeongyeon.

She kisses her hard and wet. She doesn’t mind the crowd shouting and cheering. She doesn’t mind the attention they’re getting. She only cares about one reaction.

She opens an eye to see her reaction. Sana is crossing her arms and scoffs at the sight of Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Nayeon smirks into Jeongyeon’s mouth. She bites her lower lip and the other girl gasps in response. As soon as she did, Nayeon pushes her tongue in and relishes hers.

Jeongyeon pulls first. She tries to catch her breath and forces herself to come up with something to say but she just stammers. Nayeon puts her index finger on her lips and whispers “sshh” She pulls her away from the crowd.

Somehow they found themselves playing beer pong in the backyard with a cheerleader named Jeon Soyeon. Jeongyeon and Soyeon looks each other straight in the eye and tosses the ping pong ball into each other’s cup.

“Yes!” Jeongyeon shouts when she shoots the ball in one of Soyeon’s cup. The other girl groans and drinks it. Jeongyeon looks at Nayeon and asks, “What do I get when I shoot the ball?”

“This,” Nayeon pulls Jeongyeon into a kiss. This time it’s just a peck. Jeongyeon grins at her, says “okay” and pulls her sleeves up, eager to win the game.

It was the third time that Jeongyeon shot the ball successfully in the cup. As promised, Nayeon gives her the third kiss too when suddenly the game is interrupted.

“Let me do this, Soyeon.” Sana pulls her out of the game and take the pingpong ball. Mingyu follows behind her and tries to stop her. But it seems like Sana wasn’t listening because she tosses the ball into Jeong’s cup but fails. She curses beneath her breath.

Jeongyeon smirks and tosses the ball. It goes in and Nayeon pulls her waist and kisses her. Again. In front of Minatozaki Sana. She pulls from the kiss but did not remove her hands on Jeongyeon’s waist. In return, the other girl wraps her arms around Nayeon’s shoulders.

Sana was just about to drink the cup of beer when Mingyu stops her. “Let me do this, babe.” he says as he removes the cup from Sana’s hand and drinks it. When he finishes, he looks at Jeong and says “Let’s do this, Yoo.”

He tosses the ball and it went in. As expected from the basketball team’s captain. The people watching them cheers except for Sana. Sana’s just crossing her arms while glaring at Jeongyeon or Nayeon or the both of them.

After a few tosses and trash talks, Jeongyeon lost the game. She sighs as she pours the beer into one cup. Before she could drink it, Nayeon snatches the cup from her and drinks it bottoms up.

Nayeon almost got drowned from the beer when someone snatches the cup from her. Luckily she emptied it before it happened. “What the fuck are you doing?!” Sana shouts at her. Nayeon squints her eyes to get a better look at her but she’s too drunk and her vision looks blurry. “That’s cheating!” she shouts again.

Nayeon lets out a laugh. Suddenly this has been the funniest thing that happened to her tonight and she doesn’t know why. She’s laughing too much that her stomach hurts.

“Babe, let’s go.” Mingyu pulls Sana before she could make a scene. Sana doesn’t remove her eyes at Nayeon until they’re out of the backyard.

Nayeon’s too drunk to remember how they got there, but they’re now sitting in a circle and for some odd reason Jeongyeon’s seating across her instead of beside her. An empty bottle of beer is spinning at the center and it stops directly at Nayeon.

Their group cheers and Nayeon stands up. They’re about to spin the bottle again when Sana and Mingyu interrupts them. “We’re joining,” she says as they sit along the group. The cheers grow louder.

Sana reaches for the bottle and spins it. It stops at Jeongyeon and the group cheers once again. Nayeon grins at the girl.

Fifteen minutes locked inside a room with Yoo Jeongyeon swirls her stomach in a good way. Who knows what they could do?

“Bullshit,” Sana lets out. Everybody looks at her, including Nayeon. Mingyu frowns at her and she realizes what she just said. “I-I mean the game’s bullshit. That’s right. Let’s play another.” She pretends to think. “Let’s play truth or dare!”

But the group doesn’t agree with her. Jeongyeon stands up and removes the dust from herself while looking at Nayeon. She reaches for Nayeon’s hand but before she could take it, someone else did.

Sana pulls Nayeon out of the scene. Nayeon almost trips because it was too sudden. She hears Mingyu calls from the other side of the room but they just continue. Before they could get out of the house, Nayeon grabs a brownie and pockets it. She also snatches an unopened can of a beer from a stranger.

Sana opens her car, “Get in.” 

Nayeon looks at her like she’s going insane. Sana groans impatiently and shoves her inside. She slams the door and it makes Nayeon jump because she almost got hit. Sana enters the driver’s seat.

“What the hell were you thinking, Im?” Sana starts.

“W-what?” Nayeon hiccups and rests her head on the car’s window. It’s comfortable.

“That back there! With Yoo Jeongyon! A-and” Sana hesitates. “And…” she trails again. She groans in frustration and grips the steering wheel tightly.

“Don’t do that again…” Sana continues talking but Nayeon’s too drunk to hear everything. She closes her eyes and shifts into another comfortable position.

“Sana…” she whispers, but Sana just continues to rant about something she couldn’t quite process. She also doesn’t understand why Sana’s voice is so loud and why she’s frowning at her. “Sana!” Nayeon shouts.

“What?” Sana jumps in surprise.

“It’s hot in here.” Nayeon mumbles more to herself. Sana didn’t seem to hear because she keeps saying “what” and shaking and gently tapping Nayeon’s cheeks.

“I said it’s hot!” Nayeon shouts this time.

“Oh,” Sana quickly switches the ignition and the engine roars to life… and so does the ac, thank you very much. Nayeon pulls the lever beside her sit and it quickly changes to an angle that she needs right now. She lays down on the seat.

“Don’t you dare sleep on me, Im! I’m still talking to you, you bitch.” Sana slaps Nayeon’s arms.

“Ouch!” Nayeon perks up and frowns at her. But her frown quickly fades when she realizes what song is playing right now.

“I knew you listen to Taylor Swift!” Nayeon gasps and points at the screen.

“You think of me?” suddenly, Sana’s voice turns into a soft one in contrast to how she has been talking to Im Nayeon for the past few minutes.

But Nayeon ignores her. She opens her eyes widely and tries to focus on the screen. Nayeon fiddles the screen of Sana’s headunit until she finds the next button. “What are you doing?” Sana says, but Nayeon dismisses her. She continues shuffling through the album until she finds the song.

“Ah, found it!” Nayeon giggles. ‘Jump Then Fall’ by Taylor swift plays in the background. Sana shakes her head while grinning.

_I like the way you sound in the morning,_

_We're on the phone and without a warning_

_I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard_

“Come on, sing with me~” Nayeon holds Sana’s hands, and pulls her. She doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol but Sana looks red. Sana shakes her head and removes her hand from Nayeon’s. “What a killjoy,” Nayeon pouts. She continues singing while dancing this time.

_I like the way I can't keep my focus_

_I watch you talk you didn't notice_

_I hear the words but all I can think is we should be together_

Sana’s looking straight at Nayeon, and Nayeon raises her eyebrows, asking her what’s wrong but the other girl just shakes her head. Nayeon chuckles and continues feeling the rhythm.

_Every time you smile, I smile_

_And every time you shine, I'll shine for you_

This time Nayeon stops dancing. She looks in Sana’s eyes.

_Whoa oh I'm feeling you baby_

_Don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me_

Sana looks straight in her eyes, too. Their hearts beat the same rhythm, the same pattern. Deep down they feel their souls connect as if it was meant to be in the first place. Suddenly the atmosphere changes and it feels like… home. Both have the same thing in mind. Both have the same feelings. Both have the same urge to tell it.

“Sana,” Nayeon starts. The song continues playing, but the feeling’s so overwhelming that Nayeon only hears her heart beat. She leans in closer to the other girl. Sana didn’t move. Their lips are quivering, and they could feel each other breathe. Inhaling their feelings, exhaling everything that doesn’t have to do with them. Their faces are now only one inch apart from each other, and Nayeon’s heart is praying, begging to get outside of the cage.

But she kept it in.

“Take me somewhere nice,” Nayeon says and pulls away from her. She rests her head on the window and curses herself. She digs crescents on her palm and closes her eyes in frustration. She feels like she’s going insane.

“Okay, Nayeon.” she says softly.

Nayeon opens her eyes this time. She feels her heart warms, if it’s even possible. She feels her soul lights up, if that even makes sense. She feels the very whole of her awaken. It’s the first that Sana calls her by her first name.

She treasures the feeling.

She sits straight up as the other girl starts the engine. She looks at her and thinks Sana hits differently when serious. She feels something in her pocket, something she needs so much right now. She takes it out and bites.

“Is that?!” Sana gasps. She looks at Nayeon for a moment and returns her gaze to the road. She doesn’t want to get in a car accident, does she? Nayeon chuckles and nods at the other girl. “What a bitch!” Sana shouts and slaps Nayeon’s arms. Sana pulls over.

”SPIT THE BROWNIE OUT, IM!” she pulls sheets of Kleenex from the box.

Nayeon laughs as Sana scolds her. Luckily, she hasn’t swallowed it yet. Disgust shows in Sana’s face as Nayeon spits the brownie out but she doesn’t mind as long as the other girl spits the brownie out.

“Drink,” Sana says, offering her Hydroflask.

“No,” Nayeon responds.

“Just drink, you bitch!” She pushes her Hydroflask to Nayeon’s mouth, so Nayeon had no choice.

“Don’t get drunk again. You’re giving me a headache.” Sana tells her as she wipes the water that slips on Nayeon’s chin. Nayeon laughs.

“Sana, I’m sleepy.” she tells her.

“Wait I have a blankie,” Sana says as she reaches for it from the backseat. “Here,” she hands her.

“Will we be somewhere nice when I wake up?” Nayeon asks her like a child.

Sana tucks Nayeon’s hair behind her ear. “The prettiest,” she smiles. Nayeon smiles back.

Nayeon pulls the lever and lays down on the seat. She closes her eyes knowing that when she opens them again, they’ll be somewhere pretty. She trusts Sana.

~

Nayeon groans when she feels Sana shaking her gently. “Nayeon,” she whispers on her ears. It sends shiver down her spine and suddenly she’s awake. 

“You want me to jump off that cliff?” Nayeon says as she opens her eyes. For some reason Sana decided to bring her at a fucking cliff.

“You haven’t seen it yet,” she smiles as she gets out of the car. Nayeon groans and pulls the blanket over her head. She wants to sleep more.

“Come on,” Sana says as she opens the door on Nayeon’s side and pulls her arms. “I promise you, it’s beautiful.” Nayeon sighs. She wraps the blanket around her shoulders and lets Sana pull her. She almost trips of dizziness. Luckily, Sana’s there to hold her. She guides her on the way to the railings.

She gasps as soon as she sees the view. It’s a cliff overlooking the entire city. She could see the city lights everywhere as if it were stars in the night sky.

“See?” Sana giggles beside her.

“This is the most cliché thing you could ever do,” Nayeon rests both her elbows on the railing, admiring the view. Her head hurts a bit but the view soothes it all.

“Stop pretending you don’t like it,” she frowns. Nayeon smirks. She manages to walk past her without stumbling and sits at the bench. Beside the bench stood an old looking tree. The other girl follows.

“Are you cold?” Nayeon asks, ready to give the blanket to her.

“No, keep it.” she shakes her head. The both of them sits in silence. They look at the city lights beneath them. They stayed like that for a while. Minutes later, Sana hugs herself and blows on her palms.

“You’re cold,” Nayeon says. “Here.” she gives the blanket to the other girl. Sana accepts it, but instead of wrapping it around herself, she moves closer to Nayeon and wraps it on the both of them.

“Better,” she giggles. Nayeon looks at her. Her heart starts beating loudly. She doesn’t want the moment to end.

“I never understand love,” Sana starts. Nayeon’s taken aback by the other girl’s words. Why would she bring up that topic with Nayeon?

Sana laughs. She keeps her eyes straight. “It’s all kind of chaos. It barely has freedom,” 

“Is that what you think?” Nayeon straightens up and looks into the city, too. She wonders how many people are still awake at this time. She wonders how many are asleep. She wonders how many are in love and what they think of it.

She frowns. “I don’t know. What about you?”

‘I think you’re with the wrong person.’

Nayeon keeps that thought to herself.

“I think people often think of love as free enterprise,” from her peripheral view, she sees the other girl look at her. Nayeon wouldn’t say anything like that when sober.

“I mean, all my life I thought that those who fell in love are fools because I thought love was some sort of enslavement.” she looks at the other girl beside her. “But I’m wrong. I’m so wrong.” she looks down and inhales deeply. “Freedom comes from love, and you feel the freest when you’re in love.”

Sana rests her head on Nayeon’s shoulders. “Nayeon-ah,” she says in a soft voice. “Do you feel free?” Nayeon feels the other girl grips the blanket tightly.

“I think so,” she whispers weakly.

Nayeon turns her head to her side. Sana’s chin is now resting on her shoulder. The both of them look at each other’s lips, slowly closing the gap. The moon illuminates their feelings. The city is quiet, as if listening closely to the rhythm of their heart. The wind whispers something in them. Something that both of them could not quite understand, but it feels so right.

“Sana,” she whispers, their lips barely an inch apart.

“I-I want to puke,” she pulls away from Sana and throws up on the tree’s roots beside the bench as soon as she says it. Nausea crawls from her chest up to her throat. She feels the acid burn. It tastes faintly of Cheetos and bitter gourd.

Sana pats her back, “Ohmygod, Im!” she holds Nayeon’s hair behind as she throws up, careful not to get any vomit on it. “Wait, hold this.” She passes it to Nayeon and runs toward her car. When she came back, she’s holding her Hydoflask, a box of Kleenex, mint, and a ponytail.

Nayeon feels the other girl tie her hair up and pat her back. Her stomach contracts. It keeps on pushing everything up and out even though it has nothing to throw up anymore.

“Done?” Sana asks. Nayeon nods weakly and grips the edge of the bench. She closes her eyes as she tries to will away the dizziness. ”Here,” the other girl helps her drink water from her Hydroflask. After drinking, Nayeon looks at her as she wipes her chin. Sana offers her mint, which Nayeon gratefully accepts.

Nayeon grins as she pulls the other girl closer and wraps the blanket on her shoulders, too. “Don’t get drunk again. I’m telling you!” she warns as she slaps Nayeon’s arms. But Nayeon just lets out a ‘hhmm’ sound as she snuggles her forehead on Sana’s neck. 

For a few seconds, they’ve found solace that they’ve never experienced before. Sana tries to absorb the fact that Im Nayeon is resting her forehead on her neck. Im Nayeon is resting her fucking forehead on her neck. Im fucking Nayeon is resting her fucking forehead on her neck, and she doesn’t know what to do with this info. 

She inhales and tries to memorize the feeling, how fast her heart is racing, how Nayeon’s skin feels against hers, how they fit each other perfectly like a puzzle. When she deems that she’s memorized enough to last her longing, she mustered up all her strength to speak and not stutter.

“Let’s get you home,” she fixes Nayeon’s hair.

“Five minutes,” Nayeon whispers.

“Im, it’s cold. And you should rest already.”

“Eh,” she groans.

“Nayeon,” Sana says firmly.

“Fine,” she says as she stands up, but she didn’t remove the blanket from the both of them. Nayeon wraps her arm around the other girl’s shoulder, making sure that the blanket doesn’t fall off. She still couldn’t walk in a straight line, so Sana supports her weight a bit and holds her to make sure that she doesn’t trip.

On the way home, Nayeon didn’t let go of Sana’s hand.

==========

Monday after that party, everything was pretty much the same. Being wild in a party is not new to them, anyways. Besides, it’s not like the first time that they saw Nayeon with Jeongyeon. They also didn’t question where Sana pulled Nayeon that night. They kinda just shrug it off. Except for one person.

Nayeon decided to stay in school until it’s late. She walks the hallway toward the lockers. She opens hers and puts her textbooks in it. When she closes it, she sees Mingyu staring at her. She didn’t mind him and walks past him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he says. Nayeon stops walking.

Mingyu faces her. He holds her wrist tightly and she tries to hide the pain. She looks at him straight in the eyes and says “Let go of me.”

“Huh?” he grits his teeth and brings his face closer to Nayeon’s. She didn’t move an inch. She just stares at him and grips the strap of her backpack tightly with her free hand.

“You think I’m an idiot, Im?” he pushes Nayeon to the lockers. A padlock digs on her back.

“Oh, you definitely are.” she smirks, trying to the stinging pain from her expression. 

He raises his fist and threatens to punch her. “Shut up.” She could see his fist shaking and knuckles turn white as he holds it in front of her. His eyes are sharp.

He holds her collars instead and slams her on the locker again. “Stay away from my girlfriend you little bitch.”

Nayeon winces as she feels the metal digging on her back, cold and piercing. “Scared now, are we?”

He punches the locker, and she jumps in surprise. “Stay away from my girlfriend, or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

Mingyu pushes her aside. Nayeon loses her balance and drops onto the floor. When he’s out of sight, she curves her back in agony and closes her eyes. Normally, she wouldn’t cry, but the physical pain’s too strong, tears are tempting to escape her eyes.

She lets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you listened to folklore already? I think 'Exile' suits this chapter so much! I'm sorry if there are a lot of typos and grammatical errors. I haven't proofread it yet.

Nayeon haven’t talked to Sana since the party.

Days have passed and Sana lives it as if she doesn’t know Nayeon. She doesn’t even bother to text or call her. She wouldn’t even look at her every time they pass by each other on the hallways.

Nayeon lives it like something is missing from her.

At first, Nayeon thought that Sana’s just busy, which she technically is, because the government’s cup is nearing. But one time, Nayeon was walking and she saw Sana alone. When she’s about to open her mouth, Sana turns her back and leaves. That’s when Nayeon realized that Sana’s avoiding her.

Nayeon doesn’t know what to do, so she just lets Sana.

After class, Nayeon goes straight to the gym because Jihyo and Tzuyu are practicing volleyball, and they’re supposed to go home all together. When she enters, she’s greeted by shirtless basketball team jogging, volleyball team playing with only their sports bra and shorts, and cheerleading team doing their full outs with the same outfits as volleyball players.

A lump forms in Nayeon’s throat and she swallows it. She hears Sana leading the full out and that caught her attention. Minatozaki Sana’s perfect body shows when the base holds her up for a liberty.

There are a lot of girls, but her eyes could not stop looking at a specific one. She tries to get Jihyo or Tzuyu’s attention to tell them she’ll be waiting outside, but they’re too busy playing. Her phone’s battery is dead, so she had no choice but to stay.

She’s sitting at the bench when she sees Mingyu glaring at her while jogging. Nayeon didn’t pay him attention. When she looks at the cheerleading team, she sees Sana staring at her, but she immediately looks away.

There’s a pang in her chest.

When Dahyun arrives, all teams were packing up already.

“Where have you been?” Nayeon asks.

Out of breathe, Dahyun says “I’m sorry, unnie. I was playing the piano, and I didn’t notice the time.”

Nayeon nods. She sees Jihyo and Tzuyu still talking to their teammates and she wants to shout at them. She wants to get out as soon as possible.

“Hey,” Jihyo greets them. Finally, they’re done.

“Let’s go,” Nayeon tells them and exits. She hears Jihyo asking what’s wrong with her, but she ignores them.

That night, Nayeon finally receives a text from Sana.

From Sana:

Tomorrow. Same time, same place.

She doesn’t know what Sana wants. It sends mixed feelings to her. She’s afraid. She’s excited. She’s anxious. She’s looking forward. She can’t sort her feelings out.

Sleep fails to visit her that night. She stays up, wondering what could happen. She stays up, wondering what she did wrong. Maybe she shouldn’t have let Sana bring her at that cliff. Maybe she shouldn’t have attended that party. Maybe she should’ve just attended classes when they first met at the rooftop.

The next day, she goes to class with puffy eyes from sleeplessness. Her homeroom teacher shoots her a concerned glance. She rolls her eyes at her.

During lunchtime, Nayeon barely touches her food. Tzuyu asks her if she can have her food. Jihyo rebukes her for it, but Nayeon says it’s fine and gives her food to their maknae.

When the bell rings, Nayeon rushes to the door and leaves the classroom before her teacher could. She runs along the hallways and hears someone shouting “No running!” but she ignores it. She opens the door of their hiding place but was greeted by broken stack of arm chairs instead.

She pulls one and patiently waits for the other girl. After a few minutes, she finally arrives. A minute of solid silence envelops them. Nayeon’s just about to open her mouth when Sana stops her.

“No.” she starts. “Don’t say anything. You can’t. Don’t make this harder.” Sana says in a firm tone. Nayeon nods at her and lends her her ears.

“You see, the past few months we’ve been…” she trails and adds “attached.” Nayeon furrows her eyebrows at the other girl’s choice of words.

“We’ve been hanging out, a lot more than what’s necessary. And this,” she gestures between the two of them. “This needs to stop.” Nayeon stares at her blankly. She couldn’t quite process what the other girl is saying.

“It’s a misunderstanding. I love him. I don’t feel the same way for you.” she inhales deeply. “If I sent you the wrong signals, I’m sorry.” Sana turns her back at her. “Don’t contact me again.” she says.

“It’s not like your single, anyway.” Sana says, almost whispering.

Before Nayeon could defend herself, she’s left eye to eye with the door.

==========

That night, Nayeon sneaks in her parents’ liquor cellar and gets a bottle of bourbon. Slowly, it dawns to her that she just got dumped by Minatozaki Sana. A tear manages to escape her eyes, and it doesn’t stop. She physically feels her heart breaks. The weight of it all rests on her chests like someone’s sitting on it and choking her.

Very quickly it happened, she didn’t even get to react. Not even a word. She didn’t let her. Funny how other people never fail to hurt her, and how easy they do it. Breaking Nayeon is like cutting a piece of cake for other people or like breaking a piece of chocolate bar, they do it like it’s nothing.

Sana ripped it off like a bandage, but the pain stays. It pains her how all those memories, all those conversation means so little to her. It pains her how she means little to her.

During all those times, what was she to her?

She chugs the last of the bourbon and throws it on her bed. She reaches for her phone and dials the only person that could understand right now. After a few rings, she answered.

“What’s up Nayeon?” Sunmi greets her cheerfully. Silence overtakes.

“Earth to Nayeon?” Sunmi teases and chuckles.

“U-unnie,” Nayeon sobs. Sunmi’s chuckles stops.

“Hey, kid. What’s wrong?” Nayeon tries to swallow her sob but fails. She pushes the heel of her palm on her eyes to stop the tears, but it didn’t. Sunmi listens to her heart break.

“Do you want me to come over?” Sunmi asks.

“No, no.” Nayeon inhales deeply and lets out a laugh. She tries to compose herself.

“Unnie, have you been brokenhearted before?” The other line goes silent and Nayeon has to check because she thought she accidentally ended the call.

“It’s Sana, isn’t it?” Nayeon’s heart stings like Sunmi poured an alcohol on her wounds just by saying her name. She nods even though Sunmi can’t see her.

“Nayeon,” Sunmi says in a soft voice. “You know you can’t.”

“I-I thought,” Nayeon tries to articulate her feelings but nothing somes up.

“Just give it up. She’s Mingyu’s,and you can’t take what’s his.” Sunmi snaps. She says it in a sharp tone that surprises Nayeon.

“Do you hear me, Nayeon?”

“Are you-“

“No, it’s not like that. I’m just saying that she belongs to Mingyu only.” Sunmi tries to explain.

“You know what? Fuck you. Don’t ever call me again.” Nayeon tells her and ends the call. She throws her phone on the wall and it lands in pieces.

See? Like cutting a piece of cake.

Chasing her breathe, she hugs her knees and lets the tears blurry her vision. She cries like there’s no tomorrow. Rocking back and forth, she looks at the lightbulb and hurts her eyes.

When it hurts enough, she looks at her table and sees Sana’s blanket. She musters up all her remaining strength to walk over it. Slowly, she reaches for it.

It’s as soft as she remembers. She rubs it on her cheeks and smells it. It smells just like her, a mixture of lavender and her perfume.

The memory of that night floods her mind.

Ironic how sometimes the happiest memory could cause the deepest pain.

==========

Tzuyu shots her a concerned look. It’s the fifth time that Dahyun tries to strike up a conversation among their group but fails. Jihyo acts as if nothing’s wrong. Nayeon continues to murder her poke, but doesn’t eat.

Smeared with avocado, shreds of tunas that were once cut into a cube are scattered on her plate. She continues to poke, stir, and poke them. 

“We’ll head back to our room now. We have something to do.” Tzuyu stands up. Dahyun fixes her plate and stands up, too. Jihyo nods. The both of them look at their Nayeon-unnie and smiles at her. Nayeon nods weakly.

Seconds after their maknaes left, Nayeon stands up too. “I’m going.”

“No.” Jihyo says firmly and pulls her back to her seat.

“Nayeon, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Nayeon raises her eyebrows at her.

“You’ve been like this,” Jihyo gestures to her and adds “for days now. Even Dahyun and Tzuyu are concerned.” She sighs, “Spill it.”

“I still have to review for my quiz later.” Nayeon pulls the most useless excuse and leaves before Jihyo could stop her. Since when did she start reviewing AT school?

She goes on like that for a whole week. Whenever Dahyun’s telling them a story, she would often zone out. Whenever Tzuyu’s bringing them new variety of bread, she would decline, claiming that she’s full but all of them know that she hasn’t eaten properly for days. Whenever Nayeon’s doing this, Jihyo would shoot her a disapproving look.

Spacing out, Nayeon’s walking with Dahyun and Tzuyu toward the parking lot. Jihyo said she has something to do and let the other girls go home earlier. She hears Dahyun and Tzuyu bicker behind her, but she didn’t mind.

“Unnie,” Tzuyu gets her attention. She stops walking and looks at her. “When are we going to have our sleep over? Dahyun and I have been waiting for AGES” Tzuyu stomps her feet and whines. The other young girl beside her pouts.

“Were you?” Nayeon ruffles their hair and smiles, but it was an empty one. The two are surprised by their unnie’s action. “Okay, I’ll ask Ji. Do you already have a movie in mind?”

The younger girls’ faces light up and smile. Tzuyu lets out a scream of excitement, and Dahyun shakes Tzuyu’s shoulders. They tell Nayeon about the list of movies they’ve been eyeing. Nayeon tries to listen to them, but something caught her attention.

She sees Mingyu and Sana laughing with their friends. His arm, as usual, is all over the girl’s shoulder. Momo and Chaeyoung are beside them. A few of basketball players surround them. Someone must’ve told a joke because all of them laugh.

Nayeon could hear Sana’s laugh even from afar. To her, it’s impossible to miss that high-pitched laugh that she used to hear over phone calls and their little rendezvous. Mingyu spots her. He switches position and blocks Sana from her view.

“I wonder where the cupcake girl is,” Dahyun says absent-mindedly. Tzuyu elbows her to her senses. She perks up tries to come up with an answer but ends up stammering.

“You guys go,” Nayeon says and leaves. She hears Tzuyu calling her and Dahyun apologizing, but she continues walking. Tears threaten to fall from her eyes, but she wills them away. She’s at school and she can’t be this vulnerable in front of other people.

She figures she could go home with Jihyo, so she drags herself to the school publication’s office. Before turning into the corner, she stops to look at her reflection on the phone. She fixes her hair and wipes her eyes. She inhales deeply and turns to the corner.

When she does, she bumps someone. The other girl loses balance. Nayeon’s too shock to react. The girl sobs and wipes her tears using her arm. She struggles to stand up but manages to. Quickly, she runs. Nayeon recognizes her as the cupcake girl.

She’s left dumbfounded. While walking, Nayeon furrows her eyebrows in confusion. She opens the door. Jihyo’s head is down, her hair is blocking her face so Nayeon couldn’t see her expression. She’s gripping the edge of the table. She hears her exhale.

Nayeon knocks to get her attention, “What’s up?”

“Oh unnie,” Jihyo turns her back at her and rubs her eyes. “I thought you’re going home with the maknaes?”

Nayeon shrugs. She pulls a chair and sits. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Ji, I bumped with the cupcake girl on the way here.” Nayeon eyes her.

“Did you?”

“She was crying.” she adds.

“It’s just a bad article. You know, it happens.” Jihyo tells her. Nayeon nods but still not convinced. “Speaking of, would you like to come with us to the governor’s cup? The publication’s covering for it. It’s the perfect opportunity to teach Dahyun sports feature, so I’ll bring her. Tzuyu’s going, too.”

Nayeon stiffens at the thought of governor’s cup. She remembers telling Sana she’ll be watching. Jihyo raises her eyebrow at her, waiting for her answer. For a moment, Nayeon hesitates but her friends will be there so she should be fine.

“Of course,” she says.

“They’re asking when our next sleep over is. I told them I’ll ask you.” Nayeon informs her.

“Are they? Let’s do it this Saturday, then.” Nayeon looks at her. It’s rare to see Jihyo making decisions right on the spot. She’s never been good at it. She says she hates the pressure.

“I hope they’ll stop making us watch crappy movies. Remember that one time they forced me to watch that percy jackson’s movie adaptation?” Nayeon asks her. Jihyo laughs and that somehow made Nayeon feel lighter.

“Do you still have something to do?” she asks. Jihyo shakes her head. Nayeon stands up and gathers all of Jihyo’s things.

“Let’s get you home,” Nayeon wraps her arm around the younger girl’s shoulders.

She guides the younger girl all the way home.

=========

Nayeon goes directly to Jihyo’s basement. It’s their hideout ever since they’re a kid. Jihyo’s parents renovated it just for them.

There rests a huge bed that could fit all four of them. In front of it is a huge white wall and a projector’s installed in the ceiling. On the other side of a room, a sixty-inch tv’s wall-mounted in front of a couch. Video game consoles are carefully put in a drawer beneath it. A standard-sized ping-pong table is lounging untouched.

She brought pretzels for Tzuyu, boxes of choco pie for Dahyun, and a mountain dew for Jihyo. They all agree that mountain dew is the superior soda. Period.

Minutes later, Jihyo goes down with the maknaes. The younger ones drop their chips, runs toward their favorite food and eats.

“We have a lot of food. How are we going to eat it all?” Jihyo asks while opening the mountain dew. She pours herself a cup and drinks it.

Nayeon raises her eyebrow. ”You really doubt our appetite?” Jihyo laughs into the cup, almost choking.

The girls decide to play a few round of ping-pong. When they got tired, they then entertain themselves with video games.

Tzuyu groans when she dies for the nth time. Dahyun sticks her tongue at her. Jihyo shakes her head. Nayeon continues playing.

“Already decided for a movie?” Jihyo asks.

“Oh!” Tzuyu and Dahyun gasp at the same time. Tzuyu opens her notes app and leans toward Dahyun, their foreheads touching.

“What about this movie?” Tzuyu whispers to Dahyun as if the older girls can’t hear them.

“No, I heard that one’s boring.”

“How about this?”

“Too angsty.”

“This?”

“The main actor’s a pedophile.”

“Then what should we watch?!” Tzuyu raises her voice a bit.

“Anything.” Dahyun says casually. That response earns her an eye-roll from Tzuyu. Jihyo shakes her head and looks at Nayeon for help.

“How about we go with the usual? ‘10 Things I Hate About You’?” Nayeon suggests.

“Perfect!” The younger ones say in unison and runs to the bed.

Nayeon hears Jihyo groans. “For fuck’s sake, I could already recite every line in that movie.”

She pats Jihyo’s shoulder. “Hey, this is not about you. Suck it up.” Nayeon says and follows the maknaes to the bed. She sets the projector and joins the girls on the bed. She opens a bag of Lays that Dahyun brought.

On the other edge of the bed, Jihyo lies next to Tzuyu, next to Tzuyu lies Dahyun, and next to Dahyun sits Nayeon while eating her chips. Tzuyu wraps her arms on Jihyo and rests her head on the older girl’s stomach. Dahyun does the same to Nayeon.

The girls focus on the movie. The other girl would recite the lines from time to time. Nayeon could hear Jihyo sigh deeply every once in a while, but when the climax of the movie nears, she feels Jihyo’s aura changes. She’s silent and looks at the screen as if she’s thinking about something else.

When the poem reading scene comes on, Tzuyu and Dahyun recites it with their heart.

‘I hate when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.’

Nayeon tries to hold back her tears. She tries to ignore the pang on her chest. She hates how Kat Stratford is shit for writing that poem and she hates her even more for being right. She closes her eyes to prevent her tears falling. She hears Tzuyu sobs. Jihyo’s patting her back.

She feels Dahyun tighten her grip around her waist. Nayeon looks down, but the other girl is focused on the movie. She reaches for her hair and combs it. She’s lucky to have them by her side.

When the movie finishes, Dahyun and Tzuyu goes on another bickering.

“Ah, really the best scene is the poem-reading. It gets me every time.” Tzuyu says with tear-stained cheeks.

“What? No. The best scene is when he sang on the bleachers.” They go on another bantering for a while.

“Hey, time for bed now.” Jihyo stops them. Tzuyu and Dahyun exchange meaningful glances.

“Nayeon-unnie, you really remind me of Kat Stratford.” Dahyun tries to change topics. Tzuyu nods after Dahyun.

“Why is that?”

“You seem tough on the surface. But lately you’ve become— aw!” Tzuyu pinches Dahyun and gives her a death stare. Nayeon raises her eyebrow at the two of them.

“Lately you’ve become prettier! That’s right.” Dahyun fake giggles and smiles. Tzuyu does the same.

“Can’t we, you know? Talk about stuff~” Tzuyu butts in.

“What stuff?” Jihyo asks this time, confused.

“You and Nayeon-unnie—“ This time it was Dahyun’s turn to pinch Tzuyu and give her a death glare.

“You and Nayeon-unnie have been very busy! That’s right.” Tzuyu reasons out. Jihyo and Nayeon exchange glances.

“That’s it. Time to bed. No more talking.” Nayeon says. Jihyo stands up to turn off the projector and lights. The maknaes are still complaining, but they stopped when they see the ceiling.

“Ah, it’s really beautiful.” Dahyun says as she looks up to the glow-ins that they put when they were still children. Tzuyu hums, agreeing. Minutes after, the other girls except for Nayeon drift to sleep.

She curses herself for suggesting that movie in the first place. She wasn’t thinking straight. How could she? All she could ever think was Sana, Sana, Sana. Even when watching the movie all she could think was Sana.

She wishes to be with her, too. She wants to be with her again. She wants to run into her arms and tell her to bother her again. This time she’ll promise she’ll never get mad.

She promises to bring her to the dog café every weekends. She promises to satisfy her cravings at midnight or whenever she’s on her period. She promises to massage her foot after their cheerleading practice and bring her to their favorite diner.

But all those promises are worthless when she’s gone, and she wants her back. But she can’t get her back because she chose him and now Nayeon is left broken.

Nayeon falls asleep with a heavy heart.

~

Suddenly, Nayeon’s consciousness acts up. She sits up and sees Jihyo’s place empty. She hears faint video game noises from the background. She stands up and go.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Jihyo says while focusing on the game. “You too?”

“Yep.” she sits beside Jihyo. When Jihyo dies in the game, Nayeon joins in.

“Unnie,” Jihyo trails. Nayeon turns to her. “Nevermind.”

“Come on, Ji. Even Dahyun and Tzuyu know that there’s something wrong.”

Jihyo side-eyes her. “Well, it’s not like I’m the only one who has problems here. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you going to school with hangover?”

Nayeon shrugs “Just spill it. You know you could talk to me.”

“I wonder why Bianca’s so eager to be in a relationship at that age.” Jihyo starts, referring to the main character’s sister. Nayeon lets her talk. “I mean, isn’t she afraid?”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid that the shit might hit the fan,” Jihyo says in a small voice. Nayeon could barely hear her. Silence engulfs them, and Nayeon could swear she hear Jihyo’s heart break.

“There’s no way it wouldn’t.” Nayeon says. “You know what they say, ’Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.’”

“Omg stop,” Jihyo covers her face and laughs. “You nerd! Stop quoting Lemony Snicket on me.” She throws a pillow to Nayeon. The both of them laugh.

“How about you?” Jihyo asks when the laughter dies down.

“Don’t worry about me. I can handle this.” Nayeon shrugs. She could feel Jihyo’s stares. “What?”

Jihyo reaches for Nayeon’s thumb and presses two long ones and two short ones. “”It is a costly thing, looking on the true face of love.’”

“Now whos’s the nerd one? Quoting Rick Riordan on me, huh?” This time it was Nayeon’s turn to throw a pillow at Jihyo. The both of them laughs at their own misery.

Indeed, as Rick Riordan says, it is a costly thing, looking on the true face of love. However, it is another thing when love itself refuses to show her face at you. It rips the cosmos.

==========

When Nayeon gets home afternoon the next day, she doesn’t leave her bed. Instead, she cries her eyes out. It’s just four pm but she’s already drunk. Another bottle of bourbon was consumed next to another.

She reaches for Sana’s blanket. It helps her sleep. Sana’s smell is faint now, but Nayeon’s still holding onto it. Tonight, it’s enough to calm her.

The next day, Nayeon goes to school with severe hangover. She drags herself into their classroom, but when she decided she couldn’t take it anymore, she leaves and hides in the library instead.

She chooses the table on the far corner where students never really sit. Sleepily, she plunges her head down and lets the Earth rotates in prograde motion without her consciousness.

Time flies, Nayeon wakes up to students bickering over their project. Nayeon opens her eyes and feels her head splitting into two. Her hair looks like a bird’s nest. She perks her head up and sees someone sitting in front of her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” the other girl asks. “Everywhere else is full. The seventh graders are doing their research.” she adds, whispering. Nayeon ignores her. She pushes the heels of her palm on her eyes and slaps herself to wake up.

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave if you want me to.” Mina says.

“Tss,” Nayeon hisses at her. Mina gathers her things. She’s ready to leave. “’Ralph went for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…’” Nayeon furrows her eyebrows, trying to recall the full quote.

“’and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called Piggy.’” Mina finishes the quote and sits again.

“Homework?” Nayeon nods at the book. It was ‘Lord of The Flies’ by William Golding.

“No,” she shakes her head. “Just for entertainment.”

“You read?” Mina asks.

“Do I look like illiterate to you?” Nayeon snaps. Mina closes her mouth into a thin line. An awkward silence engulfs the both of them. Mina pretends to read, but looks at Nayeon from time to time.

“That book is misogynistic,” Nayeon starts the conversation, trying to keep her eyes open.

Mina scoffs, “Just because it lacks female characters, that doesn’t mean it’s automatically problematic.”

“Yep,” Nayeon raises her index fingers. “Misogynistic.” she whispers. Maybe she’s still drunk

“Could you justify your statement, Ms. Im?” Mina crosses her arms. Nayeon sits straight up and smirks at the other girl.

“Let me start with Piggy,” Nayeon says in a loud voice. The librarian shush them “Piggy is the ONLY representative of effeminate community, and what did they do to him? They killed him.”

“But the structure of their society is constrained solely by their fallen natures. They were stuck in an island—“

“Shush,” Nayeon says. “Piggy symbolizes matriarchy in the novel, and a bunch of fucking school boys sees him as a threat to their freedom because of her mother-like nature.” she says half-asleep.

“I—“ Mina tries to find her words. “I didn’t think of it like that.” Nayeon smirks.

Nayeon shrugs her shoulders, “That’s just my two scents. I’m not a critic tho.” Mina nods. Silence once again resurfaces between them, but Nayeon breaks it.

“I know you.” she says.

“Of course.”

Nayeon shakes her head, “No, I know you.” Mina furrows her eyebrows and looks at Nayeon, confused. “I think you’re drunk.” Mina says back.

“Are you free this Saturday? I’ll pay back that cupcake.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“The audacity,” Nayeon scoffs in disbelief, “No, I have something else in mind.”

“What if I refuse?”

“Okay then,” Nayeon stands up.

“No, no, I was just kidding.” Mina pulls her back. “I have something to ask you, too.”

“Give me your number,” Nayeon hands her phone, and Mina saves her number.

“Saturday,” Nayeon says as she leaves. It’s already lunch time.

On the way to the cafeteria, she sees Minatozaki Sana clinging on Mingyu’s arm. She fixes her hair and makes sure she looks at least decent enough in front of her. When she passes by, she doesn’t see Sana look at her. Not even for a second.

She pretends it doesn’t hurt.

==========

Unsure, Nayeon looks at her phone. She looks up at the café in front of her. It’s a small one. Nayeon wouldn’t even notice it if she’s only passing by. There are only few people inside and she sees Myoui Mina.

She inhales deeply and pushes the door. This is for her best friend anyway. She approaches Mina sitting at a far corner. A table that’s barely noticeable, too.

“You’re way too early,” Nayeon says as she sits down. Mina closes her book and looks up at her.

“On time is late,” Mina says.

Nayeon nods at the book she’s reading and quotes, “’Like most misery,”

Mina butts in “”It started with apparent happiness.’” Nayeon smirks. It’s a quote from ‘The Book Thief’ by Markus Zusak.

“Have another snarky remark about what I’m reading?”

“No, I love that book.”

“Should we order now?”

“You’re paying, right?” Mina asks. Nayeon rolls her eyes at her and nods. It’s a mystery how they’re getting along right now, really. They’ve come a long way since their first encounter.

Mina orders a slice of blueberry cheesecake and milk tea. Nayeon orders the same. The girls go back to their seat and fiddles over their phone while waiting.

When their orders arrive, none of them spoke. They were in the middle of eating when Mina breaks the silence.

“What were you going to ask me?” she says, not looking at Nayeon.

The older girl sighs and tries to word her question rightly. “You and Jihyo?” Nayeon eyes the younger girl.

Mina stops eating and wipes her mouth. She places both her elbows on the table, intertwines her fingers, and says “You and Sana?”

Both the girls were quiet. For a while, both their words are nowhere to be found. The only sound was a jazz music from the café’s stereo and a group of students probably discussing about their group project.

“So, I’m not the only one with sharp intuition.” Nayeon breaks the tension. “How did you know?”

“I know everything about Satang,” Mina says and Nayeon nods. “How about you?”

“When I bumped with you on the hallway,” Nayeon says and adds “Ever since then, Ji’s not quite herself.”

“What happened between you two?” Mina sips her milk tea.

Nayeon shrugs, “She says she doesn’t feel the same for me.” Mina lets out a laugh, almost choking. The group of students shot them a confused glance. Nayeon remembers this. This happened to her too with Sana. They really are best friends.

“I’m sorry,” Mina composes herself. Nayeon gives her a death glare.

“What about you and Ji?” she asks.

“Commitment issues,” Mina shrugs. “She says she can’t, so here I am.”

“What do you mean?” Nayeon asks her.

“I have a proposal,” Mina puts down her drink and looks directly at Nayeon’s eye. “Why don’t we use each other to get our girls back?”

“I’m sorry?” Nayeon asks in shock.

“Come to think of it. It’s a win-win situation.” Mina persuades her.

“How are you the same cupcake girl?” Nayeon couldn’t help but let out an amused laugh.

Mina shrugs, “Jihyo changed me as much as Sana changed you. I fell in love and so did you.”

“What do you plan on doing?”

“Just lure them in enough for the both of them to come into their senses.”

“I’m not gonna hurt my best friend.”

“No one’s hurting anyone,” Mina says.

Nayeon taps her fingertips on the table, thinking. She weighs all the pros and cons of the plan. Mina watches her eagerly, her eyes begging Nayeon to agree. Nayeon stares back at her. Mina gasps while looking past Nayeon.

“Quick,” Mina says. Nayeon’s about to look at the direction where Mina’s lookin but the other girl forces her to look at her. “Act natural.” Nayeon furrows her eyebrows at Mina, who’s now smiling creepily at her.

“What the fuck Myoui? You’re freaking me out.” Nayeon hugs herself. She prays that Mina is not a psychopath or serial killer or something of that sort.

“Shush,” Mina tells her and feeds her the cheesecake. “How do you like it, NAYEON?” The older girl feels stares at her back because Mina just shouts her name in the whole café.

“Why are you acting weird Myoui? We ordered the same thing.” Nayeon whispers.

“Just go with the flow,” Mina smiles at her and feeds her another. “Now, try this.” Mina forces her to sip on her drink. When Nayeon finishes, Mina flashes a creepy smile again.

“Shut the fuck up,” Nayeon tells her. She turns her back to see what’s happening and she wishes she didn’t

Nayeon sees Sana pulling Mingyu out of the café.

“I think it worked,” the other girl says proudly.

| 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAHHH Only one chapter left:(( Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! It's done:( First of all, I wanted to say thank you, really, especially for those who are leaving comments in this fic. Tbh, I was so close to leaving it unfinished. I felt down and unmotivated. I couldn't help but feel insecure, but after talking to my friends, I realized that if I wanted to get better at writing, then I should start at somewhere. I couldn't just get better at it overnight. Also, this is just my first time writing, so I should cut myself some slack. I know this fic has a lot of flaws, but you still managed to read it! Thank you!! I couldn't express how grateful I am for you! 
> 
> Twitter s-worded my previous account (@nanashipoms) so I moved to @sanasiopao. I'll probably change my @ here, too, to @sanasiopao. If you have any questions or suggestions on how I could improve my writing, please don't hesitate to reach out! You could hmu in curious cat.
> 
> I also forgot to tell everyone that I haven't and probably wouldn't (at least in the near future) proofread everything that I post here. I'm so sorry for that. If you encounter grammatical errors and wrong spellings please ignore it. hehe. Thank you!  
> Again, Thank you so much for reading!!

Nayeon doesn’t know exactly how, but Mina manages to force her to talk to her again. It’s their break time now so they had a few minutes to spare. They’re at their spot in the library right now.

“What’s your plan?” Nayeon asks as soon as she sits down.

“Let’s just swing our wound-hoes until we get the mind’s worth.” Mina says in a firm tone. Nayeon looks her in the eyes to see if she’s joking, but she isn’t.

“Yeah right,” the older girl scoffs. “I think you meant until the black song.” she shakes her head in frustration. “I didn’t even agree to this crap.” Nayeon gestures wildly.

“Come on, I did it for you.” Mina reasons out, referring to the café incident with Sana last weekend.

“You set us up that day, right?” Nayeon asks for confirmation which was given when the younger girl didn’t answer.

“You don’t even need to do this. Jihyo’s as brittle as an old roof. I’m sure she’ll break as soon as you talk to her again.” she says as a matter of factly. She’s known Jihyo all her life. She might act all tough, but beneath that façade of hers lies a soft person.

“What about Sana?” Mina asks in an irritable tone. Nayeon’s not sure, but she sees vexation in the younger girl’s eyes.

“What about her?” Nayeon looks at her coldly. Her heart burns just by mentioning the other girl’s name.

“You’d really give up on her that easily?”

“She made her choice.” Nayeon everts her gaze. She balls her fists so tight her knuckles turn to white. It’s not like she wanted to give up on her, but what could she do when the other girl chose someone else already? Someone that’s not her? All she could do is suck it up and move on.

“Bullshit,” The younger girl chuckles. Nayeon’s just about to open her mouth when Mina’s phone rings. The both of them stiffens. Nayeon gestures to shut it off because they’re in the library. Mina shoots her a begging look and says “It’s Jihyo.”

Nayeon raises her eyebrows at her, mentally asking what she should do. Mina sighs “Please, Nayeon? It’s for us, too.” The older girl stops for a while and contemplates the situation. If it’s for her best friend’s happiness too, then who is she to disagree?

“Fine,” Nayeon sighs, finally giving in. “But just this time, Myoui.” Mina’s face lights up and her gummy smile shows. She mouths ‘thank you.’

She inhales before pressing the green button. Silence fills in the line between them. Nayeon could hear her friend’s shaky breathe.

“Mina.”

“Hello?”

The both of them speak at the same time. Again, silence engulfs them. Nayeon couldn’t see, but she knows Jihyo too well she could feel the younger girl stiffen when she hears her voice. Mina furrows her eyebrows, asking her what’s wrong.

‘I’m so sorry, Jihyo’ Nayeon thinks to herself. She doesn’t want to hurt her best friend like this, but the happiness that she will gain after this thing overweighs the pain she’s feeling now. Nayeon hopes that Jihyo would understand. If this fails, she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself.

“Hello?” Nayeon repeats. No response. Seconds later, Nayeon hears a beep, informing her that the other girl hang up already. She pushes the phone into the girl in front of her.

“How’d it go?” she asks.

Nayeon rolls her eyes at her and crosses her arms. “She only said your name and didn’t speak anymore.”

“That’s…” she tries to find her words but couldn’t.

“I’ll go back now. It’s almost time.” she stands up, but before she could leave, Mina stops her.

“Nayeon,” she looks at the older girl. “Thank you.” Her voice is low but sincere. “Let’s get Satang back, too.”

The older girl averts her gaze. She’s hopeful, doubtful if ever she’ll get her back. What if she really doesn’t feel that way? It would break her more than she is now. She thinks she’s not ready for it.

“I’m doing this for Jihyo,” she convinces herself. Hurriedly, she leaves the younger girl, cutting the conversation short. She couldn’t handle if she hears her name again, not while she’s broken like this.

‘Heavy’ is an understatement to describe the atmosphere during lunch time. As usual, Tzuyu waits for their leftovers. Dahyun munches on her food, but looks at Nayeon and Jihyo worriedly from time to time. She’s always the quick one to read the room. Jihyo’s sitting in front of Nayeon, but she doesn’t look at her.

This time, it’s Jihyo’s turn to murder her food. Poke. Stick out. Poke. The group stops when they hear Tzuyu groan. Dahyun lets out a louder than necessary exhale. She mumbles her apology when all of them look at her.

“If you’re not gonna eat it, just give it to me. Don’t murder it.” Tzuyu says. Jihyo sighs and gives Tzuyu her food.

“Did you eat brunch a while ago?” Nayeon asks, but she focuses her gaze on her food.

“Yes,” the girl replies dryly, but a life-long friendship makes Nayeon quick to detect lies on her tone. She ignores it anyway. She curses herself mentally and blames Myoui Mina for getting her in this mess.

“I forgot to do something. I’ll go now,” Jihyo stands up. Dahyun and Tzuyu exchange glances. Nayeon doesn’t look up. She lets Jihyo leave and sighs. If anyone knows the pain she’s feeling right now, it’s Nayeon. She’ll be needing her time and space for this one.

Nayeon wishes this thing would be over right now.

“What’s wrong with her?” Tzuyu eyes her. She’s about to open her mouth, but she winces. Dahyun shoots a charming smile at Nayeon.

“Maybe it’s the time of the month,” Nayeon shrugs. She finishes her food and wipes her mouth.

“Yes, maybe,” Dahyun’s quick to agree with her. Once again, Tzuyu was about to open her mouth, but winces. Nayeon furrows her eyebrows at both the girls.

Dahyun flashes her white teeth.

~

As Days pass, Mina and Nayeon grow fond of each other. They would often spend their time at the library just talking about things. Nayeon actually enjoys Mina’s company, but not in THAT way. She found a genuine friend aside from Jihyo, Dahyun, and Tzuyu. Apparently, both of the girls share the same love for Philosophy.

“Okay, next one.” Mina says. Nayeon sits straight up, ready for the younger girl’s question. “Do you believe in essentialism or existentialism?”

Nayeon grins widely and points at herself. “Seriously, Myoui, do you see me as an essentialist?” The both of them chuckled. Mina buries her face in embarrassment from her question. Of course, the infamous Im Nayeon would be an existentialist.

“You’re probably an essentialist,” Nayeon crosses her arms and glares, almost as if challenging her. Mina fixes her bangs and crosses her arms, too. Debating over random things is what they usually do when they’re together. They both love arguing.

“Essence precedes existence. Period.” the younger girl says firmly.

Nayeon shakes her head. “No, existence precedes essence. Essentialism invalidates the fluidity of us, human beings.”

Mina scoffs. “Don’t go all ‘mauvaise foi’ on me. All things are predetermined, and it provides comfort of believe in plan and order.”

“No, essentialism overgeneralizes and perpetuates stereotypes. It disregards the fact that every entity in the universe is unique. And I think we don’t need to box ourselves in order to make sense of the world.”

“But we need essence in order to live. Otherwise, we won’t have purpose.” Mina reasons out.

“Life is not some mathematical equation where we already have a predetermined answer. We walk through it and find our purpose along the way.” Nayeon raises her eyebrows up and down. She can see the other girl’s cheeks turn red, from embarrassment or annoyance, Nayeon doesn’t know.

“Tell you what, why are we even arguing when philosophers themselves can’t even settle this matter?” Nayeon asks.

The younger girl groans. “Truce?” she offers her hand.

“Truce.” Nayeon slaps it.

Nayeon wishes she had met the younger girl in different circumstances and not where they both got their heart broken by the most important people in their life.

Fate seems to be in favor of Nayeon and Mina’s side because rumors grow in JYPU. They’re always seen together at the library, talking about stuff other students would not understand. Sometimes, when the both of them got vacant periods at the same time, they would be seen at the cafeteria. Mina would also walk Nayeon home because her house is along the way.

Students whisper behind their back, wondering if the rumors are indeed true. Even the librarian shoots them a meaningful look whenever she hears them bickering. But the both of them know that it’s just a friendship to be treasured.

Maybe, just maybe, if they met in a different circumstances then they would’ve fallen in love with each other instead, and all will be well. But this is the reality that they’re in now. A pair of girls with a pair of broken hearts. Both of them wishes their heart would mend soon.

Nayeon wishes that time could hurry the fuck up.

Although it feels like someone’s physically stabbing her, Nayeon ignores it whenever she sees Sana and Mingyu together. It’s what she’s good at anyways, not acting up on her feelings and pretending as if it does not even exists.

Jihyo must’ve felt this pain, too.

The tension between them only grows stronger, and Tzuyu and Dahyun sure as hell feel it too. Jihyo almost never speak to them during lunch. Whenever she’s asked a question, she would reply with the shortest possible answer.

It hurts Nayeon as much as Jihyo but she tries to hide her pain. Evidently, the other girl ignores her. The last time they spoke to each other was three days ago and only because she asked Jihyo if she’d go home with them. The younger girl refused.

But the pain caused by Sana’s different. It’s more severe, more wrecking in a way she’s like a sand castle being swept by the waves. She feels every fragment of sand in her body split apart from her as a whole.

All she could think about is her comfort. She longs for it every night, and every night she breaks herself.

She wishes Jihyo’s there to console her, but she knows the other girl is more, if not just as broken as her. And it shatters her more that she’s the reason for it. Nayeon wishes to tear this part of the universe apart so the pain could stop, but she couldn’t.

=

Alone, Nayeon walks to the parking lot. Jihyo and Tzuyu has volleyball practice. Dahyun still has to tutor some students because her teacher asked her to. She’s about to open her car when someone calls her.

“Nayeonnie!” the girl shouts. Nayeon furrows her eyebrows and look around. She sees Mina half-running toward her way with a smile on her lips.

“Since when did you call me that?” she asks in confusion. Behind her, Nayeon notices her friends Momo and Chaeyoung looking at their direction. The two of them whispers something to each other.

Sana refuses to, so she’s looking at her shoes. Then and there, Nayeon wants to run into her arms and dissolve into it. But she can’t. She could never.

“Shush, we need to make this believable right?” Mina holds her hand. “Pretend I said something funny.”

“No, why would I—“

Mina fakes a laugh.

It was almost believable if only Nayeon couldn’t see the pain in her eyes. She’s taken aback when the younger girl pulls her into a hug. “What the fuck, Myoui?”

“This is for the both of us.” she tightens the hug.

Nayeon looks at Mina’s group of friends. She doesn’t know what to feel when she sees her back turned at her. Momo and Chaeyoung follow behind her.

She’s walking away again.

And she feels as if for every step, Sana’s stomping at her heart.

Mina brushes her hair, and it makes her want to sob right there. She buries her eyes on Mina’s shoulder and lets her carry her weight. “We’ll get through this, Nayeon.” she reassures her. Nayeon tries her best not to, but a sob slips her lips.

Little did they know, Jihyo’s watching from afar, and it looks very different from where she’s standing.

=

Nayeon thought she’s getting better at ignoring, but she’s wrong in so many levels. It has been ages since Minatozaki Sana and her friends ate in the cafeteria since, well, Mingyu. Their laughter echoes on four walls of the room.

Pretending to be casual, she continues eating while listening to Dahyun and Tzuyu’s story, but she couldn’t quite catch their words. All she could think about is how Minatozaki Sana is just a few meters away from her. All she could hear is Minatozaki Sana’s high-pitched laugh, ringing through her eardrums in a good way.

She spots Mina. The younger girl grins at her meaningfully. Nayeon shakes her head. Of course, it was Myoui Mina’s idea. She glares at her, mentally telling her that she’s dead to her. Mina winks at her.

Suddenly, she feels goosebumps and the hair on her nape stands up. Fazed, she rubs the back of her neck and looks down. When she does, she caught a glimpse of Sana looking at her. It was just for a millisecond, but she could swear on her life she saw it.

Looking up again, the girl’s now talking to Mingyu with a smile Nayeon used to see all the damn time. Mina catches her attention. The younger girl shoots her an apologetic smile.

In front of her, Jihyo was watching the entire time. She stops eating and looks behind her back. Unsurprised, she catches a sight of Mina smiling at Nayeon.

Dahyun and Tzuyu stands up. “We’re going now,” the both of them say. The two of them always leave earlier because of their schedule.

Jihyo pushes her plate and stands up. “Me too,” she says in a dry tone.

“I’ll go too then,” Nayeon says while wiping her mouth. She tries her best not to look at Sana, but she’s betrayed by herself. She catches a glimpse of Sana feeding Mingyu. If she’s the same Nayeon she was months ago, she would’ve been disgusted. But all she feels right now is pain, and all she could do is let her feelings be.

Breathe shaking, she turns her back to them and follows her friends. Dahyun and Tzuyu are in the front. Jihyo’s a bit behind Nayeon. She wants to run to her for comfort, but she couldn’t.

Unaware, Dahyun and Tzuyu continue walking. Meanwhile, Jihyo pulls Nayeon into a corner. Nayeon’s surprised by the other girl’s action. Students pass by, ignorant of their presence.

“I—“ Jihyo tries to start. Her hands are placed on her waist, and she’s looking at Nayeon straight in the eye. Nayeon also looks at her, confused.

“Are the rumors true?” she looks down. Frustration is evident in her tone. Her shaky breathe fills the silence. “Are you and Mina?” Jihyo brushes her hair and grips her roots before looking at Nayeon’s eyes for answer.

The older girl tries to find a better words, but she fails. “Talk to her, Ji.” she says. If it was her position to, she’d explain everything to her right now, but she’s not Mina. Mina should be the one to tell her.

Jihyo shakes her head. “I can’t.”

“Jesus Christ, Jihyo, just talk to her.”

“I broke her.” she says while shaking her head nonstop, tears threaten to escape her eyes.

Nayeon grips both Jihyo’s shoulder. “Doesn’t matter. If you love her, get her. It’s not too late.”

‘Don’t be like me.’

The younger girl calms down. Her breathing steadies out. Her body stops shaking. She looks at Nayeon straight in the eyes, but the older girl just smiles at her. Nayeon reaches for Jihyo’s thumb and presses two long ones and two short ones.

‘It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.’

She guides the younger girl to her classroom. Before going in, Jihyo tries to ask her a question, but doesn’t quite know how to articulate it. Nayeon smiles at her. “Mina will explain everything.” Jihyo nods at her.

When Nayeon’s sure Jihyo already settled on her seat, she texts Mina telling her not to tell anything about her and Sana. Mina replies, asking why, but she just ignored it. Nayeon wants to be the one to tell her best friend when she’s ready.

=

It’s a miracle how broken hearts mend, but it doesn’t matter to Nayeon as long as both her friends are all right now. Mina and Jihyo have already flattened out the curve in their relationship. Both girls agreed to take things slow.

Jihyo haven’t told Dahyun and Tzuyu as Mina haven’t told her friends yet. Nayeon lets them take their time. She knows how difficult commitment could be to Jihyo.

As their friend, Nayeon is genuinely happy for them. However, as an human being, she couldn’t help but envy them.

She got a text message from Jihyo telling her that Mina wants to meet her in the gym. Jihyo and Tzuyu have their volleyball practice. Mina must be watching. When she asks if the cheerleaders are practicing too, the younger girl replied with ‘why’ and that made Nayeon shut her mouth.

A little out of breathe, Nayeon arrives in the gym. She looks around and sees the volleyball team taking a break. The cheerleading team seems to be packing up already. And thankfully, the basketball team wasn’t there.

Nayeon steals a glance from Sana. She’s wearing a sports bra and drinking water. Sweat drips on her stomach. Anxiously, Nayeon swallows a lump in her throat.

On a corner, she sees Jihyo, Dahyun, Tzuyu, and Mina formed in a circle. The group seems to be having a serious conversation. Jihyo’s gesturing with her hands while talking. Confusion and excitement are both edged on Dahyun and Tzuyu’s faces. Mina’s shyly smiling at them and enters the conversation from time to time. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Jihyo’s already telling them about Mina.

Dahyun and Tzuyu embrace Mina in a hug. Jihyo watches them with a huge smile on her face. Mina pats their back and pulls away. She spots Nayeon and calls her. “Nayeonnie!” her voice echoes in the gym, a few players and cheerleaders catch their attention. Nayeon looks down and feels her ears turn to red from embarrassment as she walks toward their group.

“We just told them,” Mina beems, showing her gummy smile.

“I figured,” Nayeon nods at the both off them. “I’m happy for both of you, really.”

Mina and Jihyo mutter their thanks. They talk a bit more about Jihyo and Mina. Minutes later, Dahyun leaves, claiming that she still has piano practice to attend to.

When Dahyun exits the gym, Jihyo nods and says “She loves piano so much.”

“Remember when she skipped our slumber party just to play piano?” Nayeon grins at them.

Tzuyu groans. “I still hate her for that.” Both Jihyo and Nayeon chuckles. They explain to Mina how Dahyun loves piano so much that it makes them think that she loves it more than her friends. Absorbed in their conversation, the group continues to talk until something happened.

A group of cheerleaders is heading out of the gym. They were talking about something Nayeon couldn’t care less about when suddenly, Soyeon pushes Sana. She was about to fall, but Nayeon’s reflex is fast. She caught the other girl before she could even touch the ground. All of them were shocked.

They stay like that for a while. Nayeon holding Minatozaki Sana’s soft, warm skin, almost hugging but not. She whiffs her familiar scent and the nostalgia and pain clouds her. She has been longing, dying to be this close with her again. A lump of unsaid feelings form in her throat, but she keeps it in.

Sana looks her in the eyes, and Nayeon could swear she could see the same pain she has been enduring. Both their pupils dilate from the sense of familiarity both have been deprived for ages now. Nayeon could feel the other girl’s fast heartbeat, and it beats the same time as hers.

Neither of them moved for a solid minute.

The crowd surrounding them exchange glances between the two of them. Thankfully, Mina decides to butt in because Nayeon doesn’t know what to do, and maybe Sana doesn’t know either. “Satang, stand up.” Mina whispers and helps her to her feet.

Nayeon closes and opens her fist multiple times, avoiding the gaze of the girl in front of her. She could feel the absence of her skin from her touch. She could feel it to her bones.

“I-I’m sorry,” Sana manages to force herself to say. She immediately scampers her way out of the gym despite her team calling out to her multiple times. The pain lingers on Nayeon’s chest. Every letter of that word pierces her heart. But what hurts her most is that she’s walking away again.

Of course she’s walking away again.

“Omg I’m so sorry,” Soyeon apologizes to Nayeon, but she doesn’t respond. The group of cheerleaders follow their captain outside.

“Are you okay?” Jihyo eyes her, sensing something wrong. Nayeon remains silent.

“Babe, we’ll go home now.” Mina intervenes before Jihyo could say something. Jihyo nods and tells them to be safe along the way. Tzuyu does the same.

The younger girl pulls Nayeon outside and drags her to somewhere without a crowd. Mina hugs her and rubs her back, telling her that she could cry to her.

“Mina,” Nayeon lets out all the tears she’s been holding.

==========

Nayeon isn’t the type to cancel on plans, but she’s close on doing it right now. She sighs as she reads Mina’s text, telling her that they’re already there. Students from their university and the university that they’ll be up against enter the provincial gymnasium.

Sucking it up, she opens the door of her car and enters. She’s greeted by an overwhelming crowd. The sound of random music from the speaker deafens her. She looks up, trying to find where her friends are.

“Unnie,” Tzuyu shouts, leaning on the railings and waving her hands. Nayeon nods at her and immediately makes her way.

“We’ve been waiting for you,” Tzuyu clings on her arms. The older girl smiles as a response.

“They don’t sell mountain dew,” Mina greets her. Nayeon groans as she accepts the drink. She sits between Mina and Tzuyu.

“Aren’t you supposed to sit with your friends in front?” Nayeon asks her while eyeing Momo and Chaeyoung. Both girls are wearing university jackets while talking about something Nayeon doesn’t know.

“My girlfriend’s here,” Mina shrugs. Jihyo smiles when she hears what Mina says like it’s a knee-jerk reaction. “Besides, I’m here to write a news article, too. I need to focus, and Momo and Chaeyoung would just scream at me during the whole game.”

Speaking of articles, Nayeon peeks at Dahyun who’s beside at Jihyo. She seems to be busy reading and writing about something on her phone. It must be her questions for the players later.

Tzuyu pokes her head to get the attention of their group. “Mina-unnie paid for the foods. Can we keep her?”

“Please?” Dahyun stops what she’s doing to back her up. Both Mina and Jihyo chuckle.

Nayeon gasps, feigning offense. “Don’t I feed you enough?”

“Mina-unnie’s nicer,” Tzuyu rests her back on her seat and crosses her arms. Dahyun nods enthusiastically. Mina sticks her tongue out at her. She can’t believe Mina has snatched her title as Dahyun and Tzuyu’s favorite unnie in a short period of time.

Whoever was the person behind the mic, they announce that the school’s cheerleading full outs will soon begin. Nayeon stiffens at her seat, and Mina seems to feel it because she holds Nayeon’s hand and rubs it.

True to their word, after five minutes, the cheerleading team from both schools enter the gymnasium. All girls look ready and competitive. All girls look beautiful. But only one stand out in Nayeon’s eyes. Her hair is tied up in a high ponytail and has blonde streaks all over it. It fits her.

The crowd goes wild as she waves her hand and smiles. Even Mina shouts her support for her best friend. Nayeon remains glued to her seat. She lets the crowd overshadow her presence so the other girl could not sense it. They’re near the front because of school publication privileges.

But Mina does the unexpected. “SATANG!” she shouts while jumping up and down. Nayeon’s eyes widen. She grips the younger girl’s shirt and whispers “Mina” repeatedly, begging for her to stop, but the younger girl doesn’t.

“Satang! Satang!” Mina shouts again. Finally, she catches the girl’s attention. Nayeon immediately sinks on her seat and pulls her baseball cap down, covering her face. But it’s not enough to cover her eyes.

She sees Sana wave at Mina, flashing the sweetest smile at her. The smile in her eyes vanishes as soon as she sees the girl beside Mina. She stops waving, and she purses her lips. Mina wraps her arm around Nayeon and pulls her closer as she sits down.

Nayeon holds the tip of her cap to hide her face and whispers “What the fuck are you doing, Myoui?”

“Just smile and nod,” she feels the younger girl’s grip tighten. Sana still hasn’t remove her eyes away from them. Mina keeps on waving.

“What’s wrong with her?” Tzuyu asks, referring to Sana. Nayeon shrugs at her as a response. When Sana finally averts her attention, Mina stops being annoying and Nayeon looks up. She sees Jihyo looking at her suspiciously, but Mina then snatches her attention, offering her some snack.

After a few minutes of stretching, Minatozaki Sana leads her team on the center pull of pride and confidence. The crowd cheers. Mina joins the noise and raises her inflatable cheering stick to show support for her friend. Nayeon could see Jihyo massaging the bridge of her nose while chuckling at the sight of her very much energetic girlfriend.

At the center, Sana nods, signaling them that they’re ready. Nayeon doesn’t… or couldn’t take her eyes off the girl. She has been working hard for this for weeks, and Nayeon could attest to this. She feels her heart skips a beat when their gaze connect. Sana doesn’t remove her eyes on Nayeon until the music starts.

Cheerleaders in front raises their pompoms and does a forward roll. The ones at the back starts strong with three-quarter front flip. The crowd joins them in chanting the school’s battle cry. Nayeon follows Sana with her eyes, carefully watching (and wishing) that the other girl wouldn’t injure herself. The full out finishes with a strong impact from their liberty.

Nayeon lets out a breath that she didn’t know she has been holding. From her seat, she could see Sana breathing heavily. Mina bumps her shoulders, “Aren’t you proud?” she teases and leans her head on Nayeon’s shoulder while laughing. Sana looks at the both of them.

After them, the other school’s cheerleading team does their routine. Nayeon doesn’t intend to be rude, but she doesn’t care about them. Then, the players then gather around on the court. For a few minutes, both team do their warm up and listens to their coach’s final remarks. The referee whistles, signaling for both team to come forward already.

Mingyu takes the position, ready for the jump ball. The other team’s representative towers him for good three inches, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. The referee whispers something to them first. When he’s sure that both representatives get what he means, he tosses the ball.

As expected from him, Mingyu gets the ball and passes it immediately to his teammate. A player from the other school boxes him out. He tries to distract him with his tactics, then finally breaks free from his defense. His teammate passes the ball to him and he does a lay-up. 2-0 in favor of their school. Once again, the crowd goes wild.

During the fourth quarter, everyone was at the edge of their seat. Tension could be felt inside the gymnasium. Everyone’s heart beats at the same time as the timer. A player from JYPU snatches the ball from the other school and dribbles toward their court. He scans around for anyone on their team who’s free.

Minyu raises his hand as he breaks free from two players that’s blocking him. He receives the ball, dribbles it, side steps then shoots it. The crowd’s eyes do not leave the projectile. Everything was in slow motion. Then the ball goes in.

Bulldogs growl in victory. 68-70 in their favor. The players, and their coach run toward Mingyu. They successfully defended their title, making them a grand-slam champion. From Nayeon’s seat, she could see the cheerleading team shouts too. The happiness in her face is very evident, especially hers.

Mingyu, with a large grin on his face, walks toward his girlfriend’s direction. Sana welcomes her with a warm hug. He wraps his hands around her waist. She wipes his sweat while their foreheads are touching. Mingyu must’ve said something funny because Sana lets out a laugh. Everyone admires them. The perfect couple. The campus couple.

Nayeon feels her breathing becomes unstable. Beside her, Mina grips her shoulder, and asks her in a low voice if she’s okay. But Nayeon couldn’t force herself to let out a word. Mina holds her hand and rubs her thumb. She feels weak, broken, and vulnerable all at the same time.

Just when she thought it couldn’t get worse, Mingyu cups Sana’s face and kisses her in front of everyone. It was slow and passionate and heartbreaking. The crowd deafens Nayeon by showing their support for the couple.

It’s a different kind of hurt this time. It’s the kind of hurt where your heart breaks more than it is right now. It’s the kind of hurt where all you have to do I accept the fact that it’s over. She chose him, and everything that she did with Mina after she got together with Jihyo was pointless. The tiny light of hope inside Nayeon is now gone.

They pull away from the kiss. Mingyu’s coach calls him for a photogtaph. As soon as he turns his back, Sana’s smile disappears, and she turns her gaze to the crowd, as if finding someone. Nayeon’s deep on her seat. Her head is leaning on Mina’s shoulder for support because she couldn’t take more of this. Sana doesn’t take her eyes of Nayeon.

For a moment, both their gaze meet, and even though they’re not touching, both of them could feel the electricity buzzing from both end. All Nayeon could process right now is pain, pain, and pain. Tears threaten to fall from her eyes.

Nayeon breaks the connection. The older girl musters up all her remaining strength. She pulls her baseball cap down to cover her eyes and stand up. “Meet you at the corndog stand.” she said in one breathing. Mina’s about to follow her, but Jihyo reminds her that they still have to interview the players for their article.

Without looking back, Nayeon exits the gymnasium as fast as she can. She even bumped a lot of people, but all she cares about was getting out of that torture. She finds a dark alley where no one’s passing by and lets her tears fall.

She leans on the wall to support herself.

~

Jihyo enumerates some points for Dahyun to tackle in her article. Mina’s on her phone, typing something Nayeon assumes has something to do about her news article. Tzuyu munches on her corndog and rants about how Nayeon bought them food because she’s theatened of Mina being her favorite unnie.

No one asked what happened to Nayeon. They know better anyway. But Mina and Jihyo shoot her a worried glance from time to time. She’s barely even eating. She has been holding her corndog, untouched, since she bought it.

“Unnie, are you gonna eat that?” Tzuyu asks innocently. Jihyo calls her name in a warning tone. Dahyun looks at her wide-eyed.

Mina chuckles. “Haven’t you eaten enough?”

“Unnie’s not eating. Can’t let it go to waste,” Tzuyu shrugs.

“I’ll just buy you another if you want,” Jihyo offers, but Nayeon stops her.

“No, it’s fine. I’m not hungry anyway.” Nayeon gives her corndog to Tzuyu. The younger girl accepts it with a wide grin of victory ignoring Dahyun and Jihyo. Mina flashes her gummy smile at her, admiring the younger girl’s cuteness.

Jihyo, Dahyun, and Mina discuss a bit about their ideas for the article that they will be writing. Tzuyu is still munching on her food. Nayeon tries to busy herself with social media, but as when she opens her Instagram, a picture of Mingyu and Sana appears.

She turns it off as soon as she sees it. The night couldn’t get any worse for the poor Im Nayeon. She watches other people walk to wherever they’re going to. All of look so happy, cheerful, unbroken. The opposite of what Nayeon is right now.

Astonished, Nayeon receives a phone call from an unknown number. The group watches Nayeon looks at her screen while watching it ring. At the back of her mind, Nayeon wonders who the hell it could be.

“Aren’t you gonna answer that?” Mina leans toward her, peeking at the screen.

“I don’t answer calls from strangers.”

“Sometimes, she doesn’t even answer our calls.” Dahyun zips her mouth as soon as she says it. Tzuyu nods, agreeing to what Dahyun just said. Mina quickly snatches Nayeon’s phone

“Hey,” Nayeon tries to take back her phone, but Mina shush her up and tells everyone to shut up. The younger girl presses the green button. No one speaks for a few seconds.

“Maybe they called the wrong number,” Tzuyu says. Mina signals her to be quiet and shakes her head. Everyone’s confused by what Mina just did.

“Hello?” Mina says softly. Jihyo and Nayeon exchange a puzzled look.

“Hello?” Mina repeats, but after a moment, it seems like the caller didn’t respond because Mina was also quietly waiting. Then, Mina speaks something in her native tongue and ended the call. Everyone’s fazed.

She returns Nayeon’s phone. “I think they got the wrong number.”

“But I thought—“

“I thought so, too.” Mina dismisses Tzuyu. Sneakily, she winks at Nayeon. The older girl has never been more clueless as to what’s happening. Maybe because she’s in too much pain, she couldn’t comprehend what’s happening right now.

“Let’s go home,” Mina pulls Jihyo’s sleeves. Jihyo will be driving Tzuyu, Dahyun, and Mina home. They bid their good nights.

Mina hugs Nayeon and giggles at her ears.

==========

Nayeon has given it some thoughts. She wants to stop whatever it is that she’s doing with Mina. It’s pointless to go after somebody who clearly doesn’t share the same feelings, not to mention they’re in a relationship. She thinks it’s best to move on, although that wouldn’t be easy. But Nayeon got this. She’s Im Nayeon, anyway.

She thinks it’s best to get rid of everything that reminds Nayeon of her. The first thing was her blanket. That blankets holds many emotions. It has her scent, her warmth, her comfort. Although it hurts Nayeon, she has to let go of it.

It would be easier to ask Mina to return it to her, but for some reason Nayeon finds it rather inappropriate. She needs to be the one to let go of it herself, but at this state, she couldn’t talk to the other girl to return it personally. So she comes up with a conclusion.

There may be a slim chance for her to see it, but it’s Nayeon’s best choice. Every step toward their secret room hurts Nayeon. Every memory fills her mind and the fabric of her blanket stings as she holds it.

Slowly, Nayeon opens the door. She looks around. It’s still the same room. The stack of broken armchairs. The huge cupboard. The lack of windows. But the sight of it makes Nayeon’s chest heavy. She can’t let go of it yet but she has to.

Nayeon approaches the cupboard and opens it. She sees a pack of cigarette and lighter. It has been ages since she last smoked. She takes out a stick and lights it. Sighing, she pulls an armchair and sits on it.

She caresses her neatly-folded blanket as memory floods her mind. Tears start to well up. It’s a pity. The two of them complements each other so well, almost as if she was meant for her. Nayeon thought that at some point, they were on the same page. Turns out she read it wrong.

“Shit,” Nayeon whispers to herself when the door flies open. She almost burned a hole on the blanket in surprise, good thing she didn’t. The two of them are frozen in their place. Nayeon feels like her tongue recedes because she can’t speak.

The scene was familiar, too familiar for Nayeon’s taste. It was afternoon, same time. She was smoking too when it first happened, when she entered her life… and eventually breaks her heart.

Sana turns her back, about to leave, but Nayeon stops her. “No, no.” she waves her hand. Mentally, she slaps herself because her voice sounds so tiny, so raspy, so broken. She fakes cough to fix her pitch. “I’ll leave,” she finishes her cigarette in one hit. She waves off the ashes from her uniform and stands up.

The younger girl nods. She tries to avoid Nayeon’s gaze, but fails when she sees her blanket. “I’m sorry. I should’ve returned it sooner.” the older girl says. Sana keeps her mouth zipped and nods.

I’m sorry if I made you confused about him.

I’m sorry if I wasted your time.

I’m sorry I came into your life.

Thoughts filled Nayeon’s head as she heads toward the door. The air feels thick of unsaid feelings and regrets, most of it from Nayeon. If only she went to class that day then they wouldn’t be right there in that room, in that situation.

She feels her knees weaken as she smells the other girl’s scent. She wants to run into her arms and tell her to choose her instead. She wants to run into her arms and tell her to give her a chance. But she doesn’t

“Nayeon,” Sana says or more like whisper. If Nayeon doesn’t know full well how nice her name sounds when it’s her voice, then she wouldn’t have heard it. But as soon as she says it, Nayeon closes the door.

She doesn’t think she could keep her façade much longer in front of her.

Although her knees feel weak, Nayeon run as far as she could. Good thing the sun is almost gone now, so no student witnessed her speeding through the hallways, away from someone she wanted to be near with the most. Everything feels real to her. Every fragment of her broken heart makes it real.

As if the sky was empathizing with her, there were no stars to be seen and an occasional lightning and thunder could be felt. Nayeon feels the cold air sweeps her hair and slaps her face with the truth. For some unknown reason, she finds herself on the soccer field.

A lightning ensues and a thunder breaks. The rain starts pouring, but she didn’t mind. She lets herself be soaked and lays on mud.

Mentally, she curses the gods who are probably fighting right now, causing the sky to be in chaos at the same time as her heart. This is it. This is her karma for every single human being she has hurt, may it be physically or emotionally. This is the universe’s way of giving back all the pain she inflicted on other people.

She lays down on the middle of the field. The grass feels sharp. The dirt feels cold.

Nayeon has never been the best to recognize her feelings. She only knows how to avoid it. She only knows how to live like it doesn’t exist. So when she felt one irregular heartbeat when she sees Sana she ignored it. When she felt another, she dismissed it. Another, and she reasons out it’s nothing. Until it becomes something so severe it broke her heart in a million pieces.

“Hey!” a ray of light blinds Nayeon. She groans and squints her eyes at the direction where it’s coming from. She sees a man with an umbrells running toward her.

“What are you doing here at this hour?” the man asks her. Lazily, Nayeon stands up. Her uniform feels heavier because it’s soaked with mud and water. Her vision is blurry so she rubs her eyes harshly.

Ignoring the man, she walks past him and lets his rants fall into deaf ears. Her whole body feels heavy. Her whole body feels like its burning. Again, she lets her feet bring her to wherever. All she knows right now is that she needs somebody.

Absentmindedly, she finds herself walking in a familiar neighborhood. This particular neighborhood is where she frequents the most when she’s still a child and until now. She remembers all the time they would bike around it when they were still ignorant about the pain that loves causes. Nayeon wishes she could go back to that time.

Shivering from cold, she forces herself to ring the doorbell because she doesn’t have the energy to punch the security code. 

Immediately, the security guard lets her in and she’s welcome by the maid. She gives Nayeon a warm towel and asks if she wants any warm beverage, but she refuses. She only needs her friend right now.

“Ohmygod, Nayeon!” Jihyo runs toward her and puts another warm towel at the top of her head. “Let’s go upstairs.”

The younger girl guides shivering Nayeon to her room. It still looks the same. Except now, they’re older and more mature and perhaps a bit distant and secretive from one another. But it’s still Jihyo’s room and Jihyo’s still her best friend. It’s the reason why her feet drags her here.

“I’ll prepare a warm bath for you. It won’t take long.” Jihyo says and enters her bathroom. A few moments after, she comes back and guides Nayeon to the bathroom. She takes her time to warm and freshen herself up. After that, she slides in a pair of pajamas she had left in Jihyo’s wardrobe. She outgrew it a bit, but it still fits.

She steps out of the bathroom and was greeted by Jihyo with a warm smile and a cup of hot chocolate with four big marshmallow. Usually, Jihyo would only put three because she said four is too much sugar, and Nayeon would usually complain about it. But today’s an exception.

No one speaks. Jihyo lets the older girl finish her drink and collect her thoughts. Nayeon looks like the first time Jihyo met her. Lost. Unsure. Elusive. It has been ages since she last saw this Nayeon. It has been ages since she last saw her this vulnerable.

“I fell in love,” Nayeon starts. “I’m sorry.”

“Ssshh, Nayeon, it’s okay.” Jihyo rushes to her and rubs her back. She never thought Nayeon could be this feeble. But at the same time, she knows how Nayeon could be so emotional. She listens as the older girl tells her story from how they met at the rooftop to their little escapades to their small dates up to her heartbreak.

Jihyo absorbs everything while Nayeon looks at her like a lost puppy. They stayed like that for a while. She inhales sharply. “I know I’m stupid, but I’m not as stupid as you.”

“Excuse me?” Nayeon blurts out.

“You should’ve talked to her and flatten the curves. You can’t just ignore this like everything you do in life. Face your feelings, Nayeon.”

“I am facing my feelings.” The older girl presses. She hugs herself because she feels cold all of a sudden. Jihyo notices how exhausted Nayeon looks.

“You should get some rest,” Jihyo says. “Come on.” she helps the older girl stand up and guide her to her bed.

Jihyo turns on her Bluetooth speaker and plays Frederic Chopin’s Nocturne Op.9 No.2. Nayeon has always been fascinated by this piece because it’s meant to be played by pouring your heart all out, but it sounds better when you hold your emotions back a bit. The air of quiet reservation has never fail to make her feel serene, as if she hadn’t known chaos her whole life.

Before she could say another word, her eyelids feel heavy and her body feels one with the bed. In her dreams, she’s surrounded by ice. There are faint voices echoing everywhere, but all she could see are icebergs. She looks around and recognizes Sana’s voice. Nayeon tries to shout her name but no voice is coming out of her mouth. She feels desperate. She feels helpless. She feels cold.

“Nayeon,” the voice shifted. Suddenly, everything’s shaking and she recognizes Jihyo’s voice.

“Oh my god, you’re burning,” she feels a hand on her forehead and hears Jihyo calling her maid for help. Everything feels like a breeze. She’s too disoriented to process what’s happening.

When she wakes up, the room was white in contrast to Jihyo’s blue room. She focuse her eyesight and sees Mina smiling at her. “Hi,” she reaches for Nayeon’s thumb and rubs it. “Wait here.” Mina taps her shoulder lightly. When she comes back, she’s with a nurse. The nurse checks for Nayeon until she deems her all right.

“What happened?” Nayeon starts.

“Well, you have a high fever, and you were literally delirious last night. Jihyo brought you to the hospital. She’s cooking food right now.” Mina says and frowns. “The doctor said it must’ve been due to fatigue. Jihyo says that you weren’t eating lately, and you were drenched witj the rain when you went to her so that’s that.” she scolds her.

Nayeon groans as a response. She really doesn’t know what to say. Also, her body feels so heavy and her head is killing her. She doesn’t want to leave her bed, and she doesn’t want to eat anything. She just wants to lay there until her fever passes.

Jihyo arrives with a homemade soup that they grew up eating during cold weathers. The thought feels nostalgic, but Nayeon’s in no shape to digest anything right now. But Mina is persistent. In the end, Nayeon agrees because Mina threatens to spoil her about ‘The Tyrant’s Tomb’, the fourth book in Rick Riordan’s The Trials of Apollo series.

After making sure that Nayeon eats and drinks her meds, Mina and Jihyo bids their good byes. It’s Tuesday and they still have school for tomorrow. Nayeon tries to busy herself with a book Mina lends her, but her mind is in too much shambles to process anything right now.

Her day pretty much goes as the same: Mina, Jihyo, Dahyun, and Tzuyu visits her after school and stays until they finish their dinner. A nurse would come in every four hours to make sure she drinks her meds. She busies herself with her own thoughts and music. Sometimes, she would open the television, but eventually will close it because it’s too noisy and the screen is too bright it makes her head hurt more.

Friday comes. Mina, Jihyo, Dahyun and Tzuyu visits. Mina brings her a notebook with all the lectures Nayeon has missed that week. When asked where she got it, she claims that she has her ways. Nayeon didn’t press further and was actually grateful for the notes.

Dahyun and Tzuyu brought her a bouquet of daisies. According to the florist, it’s the best get-well soon flower to give someone. Nayeon buries her nose on the flower and inhales its scent. She hears a camera shutter from a distance and sees Mina with her phone. Jokingly, she rolls her eyes at her and the younger girl smiles as a response.

“The doctor told me if you’re progress continues you might get discharged on Sunday.” Jihyo tells her as she places a basket of fruit on the bedside table.

“I could’ve just stayed at home. You didn’t need to bring me here in the first place.” Nayeon says. Jihyo rolls her eyes at her. Mina scolds her, telling her that she’s being stubborn. “Ugh, you really suit each other.”

Nayeon turns her head to the younger girls, Dahyun and Tzuyu. “What’s up?” she nods at them. Both the girls update Nayeon about what’s going on at school. Dahyun tells Nayeon how she got the highest score on her algebra test a while ago. Tzuyu groans and calls Dahyun a “Nerd.” She then tells Nayeon about Gucci who recently got his haircut. She shows her a few pictures and videos that her mother sent her.

“We miss you, unnie.” Tzuyu says as she settles beside Nayeon on her bed.

“Do you miss me or do you miss eating my leftovers?” she scoffs.

“Both, but my point still stands.” the younger girl grins at her. Nayeon acts as if she’s offended, but all of them just laugh it off.

“I should get back soon. I can’t let Mina steal my title as your favorite unnie.” she glares at Mina who’s now laughing at her.

“For the record, I’m their favorite unnie, but go off I guess.” Jihyo butts in their conversation. Nayeon rolls her eyes and throws a sheet of crumpled Kleenex at her.

They continue talking and bickering for hours. Mina, Jihyo, Dahyun, and Tzuyu stays a little longer since it’s Friday and there’s no class tomorrow. After a while, Nayeon lets out a tired yawn.

“We should go now,” Jihyo suggests. Nayeon was just about to appeal when Jihyo says “It’s getting late and you need to rest.” She doesn’t fight Jihyo with this one because she is indeed feeling tired and drained. She needs that rest.

“Yes, we’ll visit you tomorrow.” Mina stands up and nods at Dahyun and Tzuyu, gesturing for them to do the same. Jihyo starts cleaning up their mess and Mina helps. Nayeon frowns while watching them and remains silent. She wants them to stay longer, but they need to rest, too.

They bid their goodbyes and leave. When the door closes, Nayeon feels their absence as darkness fills her sight. She switches to a comfortable position and feels her eyes getting heavy. Knowing that her friends will visit her again tomorrow, she takes a mental note of topics to bring up and talk to them about tomorrow. After a few moment, she doesn’t fight the feeling of restlessness and sleepiness inside of her. Slowly, she drifts into a soundless sleep as the world revolves mindlessly.

Abruptyly, Nayeon feels her body wake up, away from a world where everything is fine and nothing hurts. She could feel a soft vibration on her bed and her head aches from her phone’s light. Grunting, she reaches for it and presses the green button.

“Hhmm,” she hums. She’s still too tired and too sleepy to say a word. Her sleepiness is getting the best out of her. For a few second, she falls asleep, but she shakes her head to wake herself up.

“N-Nayeon,” the voice was soft and light. If Nayeon is more awake, she’d realize it sounds more like pain and broken and longing. Still not opening her eyes, she grunts as a response. She covers her eyes to block the light from her phone.

“H-how are you?” the caller asks. Nayeon couldn’t tell if what she hears is a faint sob or a hiccup or both. She’s too sleepy to tell.

“Get well soon, o-okay?” the voice sounds familiar, but Nayeon’s too sluggish to recognize. Letting the feeling of drowsiness fill her, she dozes off into another session of sleep, forgetting that she’s on a call with someone whose caller ID she’s too languid to peek.

Nayeon doesn’t hear “I miss you.”

When she wakes up, she forgets about the call first. She checks her Instagram and sees Mina’s IG story. It’s a candid picture of her on the hospital bed, smelling the bouquet of daisies that Dahyun and Tzuyu gave her yesterday. The flower’s now set beautifully on her bedside table. Mina’s caption goes: Get well soon, nerd. Nayeon chuckles and makes sure to remember to confront Mina for calling her nerd later.

Then it hits her. The call. For a second she thinks it was just a fever dream, that she’s being delirious again considering that her condition is still bad. She massages her temple while trying to recall if it’s real.

Quickly, she goes through her phone call’s log. The log tells her that an unknown number called her at 2:36am a while ago. But it’s not the first time that that person called her. It was the same person who called her during the government’s cup.

Nayeon feels stupid. She couldn’t remember what the call was about. She wishes she fought her sleepiness even just for a minute but at the same time she doesn’t. Nayeon doesn’t remember the voice, but she has a hunch on who the caller might be. And she’s grateful she doesn’t remember their convo because she doesn’t want to get her hopes up. Not again, no.

A knock on the door interrupts her train of thought. She clears her throat and says, “Come in.” Tightly, she grips her phone, pushing the thought that it might be the anonymous caller. Half of her heart feels relieved when it’s a nurse, delivering her meds. Half of her heart feels dismayed it wasn’t her.

Tomorrow, will be the day when she won’t get her hopes up again, she swears on her great grandparent’s grave.

She drinks her meds while her nurse checks for her blood pressure. Nayeon tries to hide the despondency from her face, but it seems like she failed because the nurse shots her a pitiful smile. She hates it.

“Oh, I forgot.” the nurse says and tells her to wait. When she came back, she’s holding a bouquet of lavender roses. “A florist sent this a while ago.” Her nurse places it on her bedside table beside Dahyun and Tzuyu’s daisies.

The nurse leaves her alone. She reaches for the flower and stares at it. There’s no note with it, so she has no idea who sent it. Back in her mind, she hopes it was her.

Again, tomorrow will be the day when she won’t get her hopes up anymore.

Nayeon doesn’t search, so she doesn’t know that lavender rose means love at first sight.

Saturday passed by. She spent it with Mina, Jihyo, Dahyun and Tzuyu. They do movie marathon and plays uno card after. The group stays with her the whole day, and promises to take her home tomorrow.

Sunday came. As promised, it was Jihyo who drove her home along with Mina, Dahyun, and Tzuyu. Mina pushes her on a wheelchair, which Nayeon deems unnecessary because she’s already strong enough to walk, but it’s pointless to argue with Mina when it comes to these matters.

Dahyun and Tzuyu prepared a welcoming home party for her which consist of pizzas, bottles of mountain dews, and Netflix. At first, Mina was against the idea of it because Nayeon just got discharged from the hospital. She should be resting and eating healthy foods. But she’s outnumbered, so she had no choice but to go with it.

While watching movies with her friends, a thought itches at the back of Nayeon’s mind. It’s long been overdue, she reasons out to herself. She needs to let go of things that’s not hers to begin with.

Jihyo, Dahyun, and Tzuyu insist on cleaning up. Mina and Nayeon are left in the living room while the other girls are busy cleaning up. Nayeon turns to Mina and Mina does the same. They raise their brows at the same time to ask what it is that they want to say.

“You first,” Nayeon says.

“Are you sure you can go to school tomorrow? You should rest more.” Mina says in a concerned voice.

“Mina, I’ve been resting for a week. Trust me.” Nayeon chuckles.

“I’m just worried, you know?” she rolls her eyes at Nayeon. A moment of silence ensues between the two of them.

“What were you going to say?” Mina says.

“Oh yeah,” Nayeon pauses and inhales deeply. She doesn’t know how to word it properly. How would Mina react? She thinks she couldn’t handle Mina erupting in front of her because she chooses to move on and dismiss her feelings toward Sana. She needs Mina to be with her. They may be friends for a very short time, but their bond feels like they’ve been friends all their life. She would need Mina to be by her side along with Jihyo, Dahyun, and Tzuyu while moving on.

“Hey,” Jihyo enters the living room followed by Dahyun and Tzuyu. “We should let you rest now.” Dahyun and Tzuyu nod behind her. Mina shots her a concerned look before agreeing.

“All right,” Nayeon was just about to stand up to see them outside, but they stop her. She rolls her eyes at how her friends are overreacting. Her maid leads them to the front door instead. Outside, Jihyo’s car is waiting for them.

Whatever Nayeon was about to say lays forgotten. She mentally slaps and curses herself. She’ll tell Mina tomorrow instead. Meanwhile, she’ll try her best not to think of her and that phone call and that flower.

Nayeon fails to do it.

So, the next day, as usual, she goes to school with no sleep. Her subject teachers update her on the school works that she missed. There was also a surprised quiz on calculus. Luckily, she’s familiar with related rates, but she barely managed. She just got back from the hospital, and she thinks school will kill her faster than any illness.

During breaktime, she spend it by writing an essay that was meant to be passed last week. Hell is real, and she’s living it.

When the school bell for lunch time rings, Mina’s already waiting for her outside her room. Nayeon furrows her eyebrows at her. “Why are you so early, and why are you here?” she beams.

“Finished my seatwork early so I could wait for you and make sure you don’t skip your lunch again.” Mina clings into her arms, which Nayeon immediately removes. The younger girl side-eyes her and complains about how skinship should be normal between friends. Nayeon snaps back, complaining how she loves skinship so much and reminds her that she has a girlfriend to do it with.

On the way to the cafeteria, Jihyo joins them. She greets her girlfriend and ignores Nayeon. The older girl rolls her eyes at the both of them. When they enter, the students stop what they are doing and looks at them. Murmurs start to fill in the cafeteria once again, making Nayeon and Mina the talk of the lunch break. Jihyo doesn’t mind them because she knows that Mina is hers and hers alone.

Just when Nayeon thought that things could not get worse, Sana and Mingyu along with their friends enter too. Mingyu smirks at Nayeon and wraps his arm on Sana’s shoulders. He kisses her temple and Sana jumps a bit but manages to pull a smile immediately. Mina looks at Nayeon and clings to her arms. She rubs the other girl’s thumb, telepathically saying that it’s okay.

Suddenly, the atmosphere becomes heavy. Jihyo shrugs “Why is it so cold suddenly?” she asks. Both girls ignore her. Mina asks Nayeon to go to their seat and wait instead. She protested first, but it’s Mina, and she can’t do anything. Not a moment later, Dahyun and Tzuyu join her, asking her how her day has been.

Mina sits beside Nayeon. Jihyo follows behind her while holding all the foods. Nayeon groans as soon as Jihyo places her food full of nasty and healthy food. “Can’t I have Cheetos instead?” she wants to take it back as soon as she says it because Mina once again scolds her and goes on about her health.

Meanwhile, at the table directly in front of Nayeon’s sight, Sana sits with Mingyu and their friends. Momo and Chaeyoung give Mina a confused look, but Mina ignores them while arranging Nayeon’s food. Jihyo smiles at her as she tries to block the view with her body but fails.

“Ah,” Mina says while holding a spoonful of rice and green veggies.

“I’m not a kid Myoui.” Nayeon rolls her eyes at her. Mina forces the food to Nayeon’s mouth and she almost choked. Dahyun and Tzuyu snickers. Jihyo shakes her head.

“Jihyooo your girlfriend is so annoying.” Nayeon says while munching.

“So are you. You’ve found your match.” Nayeon kicks Jihyo under the table but Jihyo was quick to avoid it.

Mina wraps her arms around Nayeon. The older girl stiffens. She knows what Mina is doing and it needs to stop. “Hey, I’m getting jealous here.” Jihyo points the fork at the both of them. Nayeon sticks her tongue out at her. Mina immediately removes her arms and Nayeon looks at her in disbelief.

“Sorry, babe, but you know.” Mina gestures her hands in a random manner.

“I know. I was just kidding.” Dahyun and Tzuyu exchange confused looks. For a moment, Nayeon has forgotten about Sana and Mingyu in front of her. Her friends, especially Jihyo and Mina try to distract her with different topics. Jihyo is trying so hard to block them from her view. Whenever Nayeon moves, she makes sure that her face is the center of Nayeon’s sight.

Mina feeds and scolds her at the same time. Time to time, she would fix Nayeon’s hair and pretend to be flirting with her. It only makes Nayeon guilty. Mina should be doing this to Jihyo and not her. She’s on the way of their relationship, and she doesn’t want that. But everything will be right later, when she talks to Mina and stops whatever this is.

When they finish, Mina cleans up their plates. Nayeon watches her do it. “We don’t have a clean as you go policy so this is the best thing you could do to help the cafeteria staff.”

Nayeon crosses her arms and smirks at Jihyo. “This your girlfriend?”

“Shut up,” Jihyo throws a crumpled tissue at her.

“Hey,” Mina scolds her. Nayeon, Dahyun, and Tzuyu laugh at her.

Jihyo purses her lips tight, fighting back a laugh and says “Sorry babe.” Mina ignores her and continues cleaning, but Nayeon could swear Mina’s cheeks look red.

Nayeon barely noticed Sana and Mingyu. Maybe it’s how it is when you’ve fully accepted the fact that you have no chance with her. She didn’t even notice how Sana looks at her multiple times or the way Sana tries to remove Mingyu’s arms around her.

All of them stand up, Nayeon stands up too fast it makes her dizzy, but she quickly holds on to the table for support. Sana quickly stands up to her feet too, looking directly at her. Her friends, including Mina gives her a confused look. As if nothing happens, Sana sits down and pretends to enjoy her food.

Mina holds Nayeon’s shoulder to support her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she rubs her temples. “I just stood up too quickly. I’m fine.”

“Maybe you should skip school tomorrow.” Jihyo suggests. Her friends agree to it.

“No, I’m fine really.” Nayeon stands up straight to convince her friends.

“Wait, I’ll just buy some snacks.” Tzuyu stops them.

“You should stop munching during class hours. I’m saying this as the class president.” Dahyun warns her, but Tzuyu just mocks her, knowing full well that Dahyun could not stop her. She’d rather eat in class than listen to whatever nonsense her teacher is saying.

Nayeon suddenly craves for cookies even though she just ate. She follows Tzuyu without saying a word. Mina yelps at Nayeon’s impulsiveness and follows her. Suddenly, it’s like Nayeon’s a child being babysat by her friends.

After getting their snacks, Mina’s arm is still around Nayeon’s shoulders. Sana and Mingyu are on their way to the counter to buy something. As usual, Mingyu is being clingy to Sana. 

“Act natural.” Mina whispers to Nayeon’s ears. As if a knee-jerk reaction, Nayeon reaches for Mina’s hands and pinches it four times, telling her that she got this.

Their pace suddenly changes. Everything was in slow motion and it takes Nayeon a few extra seconds to fill her lungs with oxygen because suddenly she’s deprived of it. Then it comes fast, like suddenly her world was finally shifted into its right angle.

“I take it back!” Sana shouts just when she passes by Mina and Nayeon. The whole cafeteria halts to a stop. Even the cafeteria ladies were taken a back. Everyone’s eyes but Nayeon’s are glued to Sana.

She removes Mingyu’s arms around her. “I’m breaking up with you.” Sana says to Mingyu while looking straight into his eyes. The whole cafeteria chimes in a collective gasp. A few students takes their phone out and starts recording the scene.

“What?” Mingyu asks her.

“I said I’m breaking up with you.” she says in a firm tone. Murmurs starts to fill the room. Mina lets out a soft “Ohmygod” beside Nayeon. Tzuyu remains frozen beside her while watching the scene unfold before her.

But gasps and whispers grew louder with what Sana did next. Suddenly, Nayeon feels a hand holds hers. It feels familiar, too familiar for Nayeon’s liking because it’s the hand that she misses the most. “I take it back, Nayeon.” Sana says weakly.

“I’m sorry Mina,” the younger girl says before pulling Nayeon out of the cafeteria. She hears Mingyu calling Sana’s name, but they continue.

She doesn’t know why, but she just lets Sana pulls her to wherever they were going. Nayeon’s mind is still in shambles, but all she knows is that it doesn’t matter as long as she’s with Minatozaki Sana.

Sana looks back at Nayeon and smiles at her. Oh god, how Nayeon misses that smile. Tighter, she holds Nayeon’s hands. Nayeon’s still unsure but she’s hoping, praying, begging to whoever deity is up there for her hunch to be right.

A lot of students look their way, but they paid them no attention. The only thing that matters for the both of them is that they’re together, and they’re holding hands.

Sana opens the door of their hideout. Nayeon spares no second. She cups Sana’s face and kisses her. The younger girl wraps her arms around Nayeon’s waist and pulls her closer. Nayeon feels her lean on her for support.

The older girl bites Sana’s lower lips, making her gasp. Nayeon pushes her tongue inside and deepen the kiss. Sana steps forward, and Nayeon steps back. Their kiss deepens for every step.

She pulls Sana’s face closer. Sana moves her hands to Nayeon’s legs under her skirt, resulting for her to let out an illicit moan. She pushes her further, expecting a wall or something to pin Nayeon onto. But instead of walls, she bumps onto an armchar.

“Ouch,” Nayeon breaks the kiss and reaches for her back.

“Ohmygod! I’m so sorry.” Sana massages her back. Nayeon looks at the other girl and chuckles. The younger girl freezes for a moment to let everything sink in and chuckles too.

Silence wraps the atmosphere. Both girls stare at each other’s eyes. The universe is still at their foot. Their heart, finally settling in a place they could call home. “I wanted to do that for so long.” Sana says while reaching for Nayeon’s cheek. The older girl feels the electricity course from Sana’s veins to hers.

“You broke up with him.”

“I did.” she nods proudly.

“In front of the whole school.”

“Yep.”

“For me?” doubt was evident in the older girl’s voice. She still can’t believe it’s Minatozaki Sana in front of her. She can’t believe that after every pain, every bottles of alcohol, every tear she’s shed for her, she’ll end up being with her after all.

“Only for you, baby.” Sana cups her face and leans in for another kiss. This time, it’s soft and nowhere near rough. Nayeon smiles through the kiss, and so does Sana. An unfamiliar sensation settles in both of their stomach. They’ve both kissed other people countless times. But this kiss, their kiss, is different. It’s like they’ve been doing everything wrong the entire time, and they only found out how to do it right this time.

Sana pulls away from the kiss. She looks at Nayeon’s face, memorizing it. Strands of hair covers Nayeon’s eyes and she fixes it. The older girl couldn’t help but smile and wrap her arms on her waist. Sana caresses Nayeon’s fluffy cheeks with her thumb and kisses it. Nayeon closes her eyes and savors the feeling.

The younger girl rests her arms around Nayeon’s shoulders and rests her forehead on hers. She chuckles and peppers the older girl’s lips with soft kisses multiple times. Honestly, at this point, it feels like a crime not kissing each other.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Sana asks.

“Where are we going?” Nayeon pulls her head away, but Sana whines and sticks their forehead together.

“Anywhere with you, baby.” Sana whispers softly before planting another kiss. She couldn’t help it, really. Nayeon feels like a fucking drug in her system.

“Let’s go,” Nayeon says and holds the younger girl’s hand, their fingers intertwining. Sana lets her drag her to anywhere. Nothing matters as long as they’re together.

==========

That night, Nayeon stays at Sana’s place, explaining everything. She explains about her feelings. She explains about Mina. But of course she left out the part where Jihyo is involved. It’s not her place to tell, anyway. She explains about her almost letting Sana go. When it was Sana’s turn, the older girl was taken aback by her confession.

“It was love at first sight, actually.” Sana rests her head on the other girl’s shoulders. “I never hated you. I couldn’t.” she traces circles on her chest and spots a little bruise she placed a while ago. Nayeon pulls her closer, wanting more of the warmth that she gives her.

The younger girl explains how Nayeon was too out of reach for her and how stupid her eight grader self was for settling for someone as awful as Mingyu who only cares about himself. “I was young and stupid. I know.” She says.

“I still remember the first time I almost kissed you.” Sana pulls away and looks at Nayeon’s eyes, smiling.

“Really? When?” Nayeon’s voice still a bit raspy, still drunk from the heaven Sana made her feel. She sits straight up, genuinely curious about what the other girl just said.

“Take a guess,” a hint of teasing was evident to the other girl’s voice.

Nayeon humms and thinks of a possible time when the other girl almost kissed her. “When I took you to the dog café?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “I wanted to kiss you then, but that’s not the first time.”

The older girl gasps. “So earlier than the dog café? Damn it Minatzaki.” Both of them chuckles.

Nayeon rummages through her earlier memories when Sana might have the urge to kiss her and decides to go with the earliest memory of the both of them. “When we first met at the rooftop?”

Sana chuckles out loud while slapping Nayeon’s bare thigh. Nayeon furrows her eyebrows at the other girl. “Earlier than that?!”

The younger girl composes herself. “Remember in eighth grade?”

“Eighth grade?!” Nayeon shouts and banters on how long Sana has been crushing on her.

“Shut up,” Sana rolls her eyes at her. “Remember when Momo left the volleyball team because of her ex?” Nayeon nods. Jihyo did not stop talking about it for weeks. She thinks it’s stupid of Momo to leave the team just because of a fucking boy.

“I was getting her things from her locker and you went to Jihyo’s locker, which is next to Momo’s, to get something.” Sana inhales deeply. “We were alone, and it was the closest I could get to you. I couldn’t help but admire you because, well, you’re Im Nayeon. Then you went like ‘what are you staring at, bitch?’ at me.” Sana laughs too hard and leans on her headboard for support. She pats her tummy because it hurts from laughing too much.

“Noooo, I don’t remember ohmygod.” Nayeon covers her face from embarrassment, but a smile escapes her lips. If only her eighth grade self could see right now, she would probably disown her current self just like how her current self would like to disown her eighth grade self for calling her first love a bitch.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t know what I was doing.” she wraps her arms around Sana’s waist and burries her face on her stomach. The younger girl chuckles and combs Nayeon’s hair while telling her that it’s okay and the only thing that matters now is the present.

The night was young and so were they.

Their naked bodies are pressed against each other. Their hearts are beating the same pattern. Their souls are finally at home with one another.

The feeling was ethereal. When the clock hits 11:11 they both wish for the same thing.

==========

Apparently Mingyu punched one of his basketball teammate in the cafeteria when Nayeon and Sana left. Now, he’s suspended and the whole basketball team is on crisis because the parents of that player wants him out of the team. The coach is trying his best to prevent it from happening but the whole school know that he could only do so much, especially when the school principal is in favor with the parents.

Sunmi… well Nayeon thinks she doesn’t need anyone who would turn their backs at her in her life, especially when she’s at her lowest. So, she cuts her ties with her. God knows what that woman is up to right now. Nayeon couldn’t care less.

Nayeon parks outside Sana’s house and texts her. After a few minutes, a familiar figure emerges from the gate, smiling. She runs to the car and opens it excitedly. Sana throws her arms around Nayeon’s neck and hugged her tightly, as if they weren’t on the phone together just a few minutes ago.

“Hi, too, babe.” Nayeon chuckles and returns the hug.

Sana cups Nayeon’s face and kisses her. It has become a knee-jerk reaction. If a few months ago, the automatic response when they see each other was roll their eyes, now it’s kissing each other until they both run out of oxygen.

The younger girl deepens the kiss and unclasps Nayeon’s seatbelt. She moves over on top of Nayeon. A hand snakes underneath her shirt. “Baby, we’re going to be—“ Sana bites Nayeon’s kneck. “late.” She says half-moaning. 

Sana slowly grinds on Nayeon’s thigh. From her stomach, Sana moves her hand to Nayeon’s breast and savors it. “Fuck.” Nayeon moans. She grasps Sana’s roots, but not enough to hurt her and pulls her closer. Sana continues with what she’s doing. She moans into her mouth. Both of them are drunk with each other.

“Wait, wait,” Nayeon pulls Sana away, both of them looks red and are out of breath. Sana’s hair looks like a (beautiful) bird’s nest because of Nayeon. “They’re waiting for us.” The older girl fixes Sana’s hair.

“Ugh,” she rolls her eyes. “Fine.” Sana goes back to her seat, crossing her arms.

“Babyyy,” Nayeon rests her forehead on Sana’s neck. Sana ignores her, but Nayeon could see her reflection through the window. Sana’s trying her best not to smile but fails. “You know I don’t want to disappoint your friends. They already have a bad impression of me because of how I used to treat you.”

The group decided to hang out in an amusement park today. It was Momo and Chaeyoung’s idea as soon as Mina and Jihyo told them about their relationship. They said that it’s time to get to know their friend’s girlfriends and their friend’s girlfriends’ friends officially. Jihyo thinks it’s a great idea. Nayeon thinks she doesn’t have a face to show Momo and Chaeyoung because of how horrible she was.

Sana hugs her and pulls her closer. “I already told you. Trust me, they’ll like you.” she plants a kiss on top of Nayeon’s head. “Mina already likes you. What makes you think that Momo and Chaeyoung won’t?”

“Because I was horrible to you.” she says, a hint of sadness and guilt are evident in her voice.

“Keyword: was. Don’t be nervous. I promise you, they’ll like you.”

“Promise?” Nayeon asks like a child. Sana chuckles while looking at Nayeon. Oh how she loves the girl in front of her right now.

“I promise,” she says before leaning in for another kiss. This time it was just a peck, but it’s enough to make Nayeon’s heart jump. They smile at each other.

Nayeon turns the ignition and the car engine roars to life. Jump then fall by Taylor Swift plays on the background. The younger girl lets out a laugh, and to be honest Nayeon thinks it’s the best sound in the world. To her, Sana’s laugh would outsold Taylor Swift and any other artists in the world.

“It’s the song,” Sana says. After a long discussion about their feelings, they found out that both of them almost confessed to each other inside Sana’s car during that party while Jump then fall was playing at the background. It’s one of the topics that they just couldn’t let go yet. If only one had the courage, then they would’ve saved themselves from a lot of pain. But what’s done is done. At least they’re together now.

Nayeon grins and nods. “I’ve been playing it on repeat.” Both of them chuckles. Solace could be found in both of their eyes.

No more yearning.

No more pining.

No more running.

Just the two of them enduring life together and hopefully forever.

It was paradise for the both of them.

_I had time to think it all over and all I can say is come closer,_

The sky is at peace with the sun.

_Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me_

There are no traffic jam or whatsoever.

_Every time you smile, I smile_

Nayeon reaches for Sana’s hand and doesn’t let go.

_And every time you shine, I'll shine for you_

Nothing could go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh:(( It's really done. Thank you so much for reading. Please anticipate my next fic!! Thank you so much!!
> 
> Update: I am writing a new Saida fic called "She's Her 42" you can check it out of you want!!^^

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo! oh my god if you've reached this, thank you for reading and putting up with my crappy writing! Thank you so so much. Really. I appreciate it. I hope this note finds you well~


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